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The Nuklear Awards Ceremonies

Postby the mystical one on Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:23 pm

First Annual Nuklear Awards
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Disclaimer: I didn't actually interview anybody for this. It's all completely made up by me. I tried to be funny and give an entrance to everyone I had inspiration for that was fitting to thoir forum personality. Sorry to anyone I may have forgotten. I tried to include the regulars and everyone who sent a ballot. With that said....

Greetings ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Town Square as we bring you live coverage from the red carpet at the First Annual Nuklear Awards! I'm your host, The Mystical One, and I'll be with you throughout the evening as we show you the stunning entrances of all our most favorite faces here at LORD Central!

We turn now to the red carpet, where the magnificent Secret strolls out of an unmarked car, shrouded in mystery. Will we be able to pierce the veil of secrecy? Let's go now to Ace Reporter Rita Jones and ask her a question.

"Secret, how are you today? Will you be present for the whole ceremony?"
"Oh, uh... don't bother me. I'm... pondering."
"And what may I ask are you pondering?"
"Lunch. But I can't tell you what it is."

And there you have it! Folks, I have no idea.


And what do we have here?! Marching in we have Darksoulz, followed by what appears to be the Darksoulz fanclub riding in a beat-up Cavalier. Yes, I can see Manex clearly in there, accompanied by Sir Finebuttocks and Willoughby. Darksoulz looks wonderful in his, uh... he appears to be wearing a breast plate and a pair of boxers. I'm not quite sure what to make of that. Let's turn now to Manex, who is with Ace Reporter Rita Jones.

"Manex, why the cavelier? We heard you were getting a two hundred seven foot strenched limocarriage?"
"Well Rita, we here at the Darksoulz Fanclub want to show that we are not afraid to appear at a large public gathering in our underwear with nothing but a junked up car. We will not be denied!."
"Thank you Manex. That was er... enlightening."
"Plus, how else can Sir Finebuttocks show off his magnificent rear end?".
"Yes, er. Thank you for you input."
"Plus, El Castrador is a poopybutt."
"Back to you, tmo!"

Right, Rita! An exciting entrance to be sure!


And who's this? Riding in on a beautiful black stallion is none other than one of our newest members, DariusSongblade! Look at him there in his shining able's armor as he waves to the crowd! Oh oh!

Watch out Darius!

Oh the horror folks! It seems Darius' horse has been VAPORIZED by a death crystal! Security has rushed onto the scene and is taking into custody an angry Slock that seems to have been hiding amidst the crowd. Let's switch to the remote micromagiphone and see if we can hear what Darius is saying.

"Son of a bitch! I just got that horse two forest fights ago!"

Well there you have it.


And who do we have here now but HotShot and Nightmare, now known as SpoG. They appear to be arguing. Lets listen in...

"I just don't see how starting off with the mystical arts is beneficial to a quick progression through the early days of battle. You're just stunting your early development for a chance at setting yourself up big after you fell the beast once."
"Yes, but after you make it through, all you have to do is find the biggest, whiniest bully and break all of his bones with a word and you're well on your way."
"Horsepucky! You rely on getting a blood sword to kill big red initially. How smart is that? Blood swords don't grow on trees, you know! Why in my days, we killed it with crystal shards and some luck and we liked it!"
"It's simple time and money management. You see, if you efficiently..."

Fascinating, folks.


And who do we have here but the stunning Vampire Princess! Our best spellcrafters have turned the sun down low today so that our nocturnal friends might visit us today, and boy do I think they're glad for this. In a sleak red dress, she walks in confidently, wearing a beautiful pendant around her neck. The crowd is going wild! She's sure to charm many people tonight. Some of them possibly literally. Now lets go down to Ace Reporter Rita Jones, who is with Vampire Princess at the end of the carpet. Rita?

"Thank you, tmo. Vampire Princess, may I call you VP? Of course. What do you have to say regarding the rumor that you may be winning an award for Best in Bed?"
"Who told you that? Nobody can know that. Why that's just. Why are people concerning themselves so much with that?"
"So are you denying the rumors?"
"People need to focus on love and what's important in life. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find a bite to eat."


We turn now to the end of the carpet, where Sombra's carriage has pulled up. The door has opened and...
...and nothing. Where's our shadowy friend?

"I'm right behind you."

Huh. Ninjas, folks! Always sneaking about.


Look to the forest folks! Here comes what appears to be the smoking, charred person of Ram, stumbling out from the forest. Let's go down to Ace Reporter Rita Jones and find out what happened.

"Ram! Ram! What happened to you?!"
"Bloody Dragon, that's what! Here I go in with my light shield and fairy companion, brandishing my blood sword as I charge. Four flaming breaths later, I'm scorched. It's like my golden armour was a coat or something. Hey, are those bite marks on your neck?"
"Oh, no. I must have spilled some ketchup on me, that's all. They have these delicious roast beast dogs up in the stands and, uh... back to you, tmo!"


Look what we have here folks.... or don't. Your choice. Amadeus has just strolled in wearing nothing but a giant black censor bar! The ladies are going wild! Cut to the cameras folks, here we have Sir Finebuttocks charging out of the stands!

"This is censorship! I demand you remove this black bar immediately! We've got a right to know what's going on!"

Okay. If you really want that... it's gone.

"..."

"... Okay, on second thought.... maybe this one's okay to leave be."

Glad we got that one cleared up.


And here we have El Castrador, subject of much controversy, striding in confidently. Rita?

"El Castrador, what do you have to say to all those who have been involved in the recent hubbub regarding monderation and communication?"
"[bleep] 'em."
"Well... that's about in line with my notes."
"Hey, you're looking a little pale. Are you alright?"
"I'm sure it's nothing. Have you anything else for us, Mr. Castrador?"
"Just this."

Image

Mystifying!


And here comes the giant hovercraft of niceness, carrying the ChiliCat Fan Club! Aboard in the front is Electra, who is handing out cookies as fast as Hidden Imp can make 'em. Next to them are Dork and Eliim. Eliim appears to be wearing a bunch of baggy clothes and a wide-brimmed hat. Mysteeeeerious! Bringing up the tail end of the craft are Silver Girl, Bammy, and CarpeDiem, who are handing out informational fanclub fliers to the crowed. Sirver Girl is adorned in a stunning, shimmering dress with a sparkling diamond pendant which seems to be drawing the eyes of every male in attendance. They're snapping up those fliers!

And look! HotShot is running down the aisle!

"Wait for me!"
"Where were you? We had to leave without you and I was afraid you'd think we were rude!"
"Sorry Electra, I got engrossed in my argument and wandered in here early."

Well that clears that up! Riding behind the hovercraft on her Pegacorn (that's a combination Pegasus/Unicorn, sold by Ye Olde Swiss Army Creature Emporium) is ChiliCat, who seems to be having some difficulty with the creature. Oh my! After a dizzing fall, ChiliCat has landed upright!

"I shouldn't have let them talk me into riding that thing. A cat's place is not in the sky."

We turn now to Ace Reporter Rita Jones to ask ChiliCat a question. Rita?

...

Rita?

Rita? Where have you gotten yourself?

Hrmph. No matter.


Here come Aglaranna, Ether, and Soppis, riding in on horses in a staggered line and representing Nuklear LORD from Finland. Let's see if Rita is on the scene to ask a few questions. Rita? Are you there?

"Ace Vampire Reporter Rita Jones here. Guys, how does the time difference affect your battling? Does it cause any problems?"
"Well, it's a little annoying to have to get up early just to grab some choice midnight kills, but otherwise it's not so bad."
"Nonsense. Just hook your computer up to your brain so it can warn you if any good kills await you while you're asleep. Works like a charm."
"Wouldn't it just be easier to hook the computer into an alarm?"
"Sure, if you want to rely on an inferior piece of technology. When you're trying to be the best, you've got to use the best available."
"Insightful. This is Ace Vampire Reporter Rita Jones reporting. Back you to, tmo!"


And here comes LadyLord, Tymorn, Thyme, Benecia, Dazhbog and all the rest of the newcomers on the newbie wagon! We turn now Ace Rep-- hey!

Rita! Stop biting the newbies!

"Sorry."


Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a glider! It's Kroz riding a Wyvern! Kroz is swinging down off the beast into the trees. Look! He's just sprung off a bendy tree and has flung himself back into the arm, performing a marvelous somersault as he flips seven daggers out to kill a few large green rats that have wandered in. Amazing! Completing the flip, he lands on a lovely white mare (where did that come from) that is now racing along the red carpet. Kroz is waving to the crowd and preparing to leap off the horse. My, what a magnificent leap as he turns a triple flip and lands safely into his seat in section 5B! I don't think we'll see a show like that again!


Well folks, looks like the last of the guests are strolling in. I see The Best, Che Guevara, Herb, Logos, Neon, POKEY(GWAR33), Princess Tomato, raginbull, RavenBF, Silverfangs, and tikel in amongst the latecomers, and several others.

Stay tuned for the results, coming up later.

Results will be posted at a later date (but not too much later). Until then... enjoy!
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the mystical one
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Postby the mystical one on Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:26 am

First Annual Nuklear Awards - Results!
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How this works... I'll list a few of the runners up (only in cases where it was reasonably close and/or the runners up got a significant amount of votes... or if I just feel like it.). Afterwards, I'll list the winners in the category from 3rd to 1st, in the following manner:

3rd - Jimmy Carter with 19 points! (1/4/7)
2nd - Ronald Reagan with 24 points! (3/3/6)
1st - George Bush with 33 points!(5/2/9)

Points are the total points (4 for 1st place votes, 2 for 2nd place votes, and 1 for 3rd place votes). The numbers in parentheses are the breakdown of the votes received: (1st/2nd/3rd).

Ties were broken using the quality of votes rule: The person with more first place votes wins the tiebreaker. If still tied, the person then with the most amount of second place votes breaks the tie. If still tied, the tie stands.

And now... the trophies!

1st place winners receive the coveted Nuke Award!

2nd place winners receive either the Seth Award or the Violet Award! (Or in certain cases maybe the Seth Violet Award... or is that the Violet Seth Award?)

3rd place winners receive the Red Dragon Award!

And now... on to the results!


#22 Least Likely to Win an Anything
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I had intended for this award to be "Least Likely to Win an Award in this Ceremony," but in a fit of inability to word things properly, it became more global in nature. This category was immensely spread out, with everybody seeming to have a different idea about who deserves to create this world-destroying paradox. Nevertheless, we did have a few people who gathered enough votes to win. No runners up here, because none of them gathered significant points (the number of people to get one total vote here is very high!)

In 3rd place... with 12 points... winning the Red Dragon Award is our very own: Darksoulz! (3/0/0)





In 2nd place... with 13 points... winning the Violet Award we have: Ram! (3/0/1)





And in 1st place... with 15 points... winning the Nuke Award is: Yaoming11! (3/1/1)

Will this category be proven wrong? Will Ram, Yaoming, or Darksoulz break the mold and win something else? Time will tell as we bring you to...



#21 Most Missed MIA Poster
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This category is a tribute to those whom we miss most; those people who used to spend much time at the forum but are now lost to the ether (at least until they stop by again). This is another category that was spread out, showing that we miss a lot of people. Among the people voted for were the following: Touchstone, Ski, Martian Church, Lord Delphin, Cute, Bammy, Amanda, xKoDx, Slugga Jones, raginbull, Puff, Secret (who's still here, people! ;)), raginbull, Nightmare (who at the time hadn't been showing up much), Kristoph, Headache maker, HARE, funbags, Flying Dutchman, Drako, Sky Lynx, Electra, Kijin, Wart, Silverfangs, Paladin, Nuke Skyjumper, Vampire Princess, Hagor, cmac, BR the Terminator, Aglaranna, Vagabond, Thundercloud, Joe the Ghost, MrHappy, Forest Angel, Vampire Princess, Abusador, and Hagakure. But who did we miss the most?

In 3rd place... with 13 points... winning the Red Dragon Award is one of the skilled players we saw here: Gibreel! (3/0/1)





In 2nd place... with 14 points... winning the Violet Award is one of the nicest members: Kordex! (2/2/2)





And in 1std place... with 15 points... winning the Nuke Award is the only person to win an award while permabanned: Pothead/Ugly Duckling! (3/1/1)

Gibreel had one of the most unique personalities on the forum, and was one of the first to truly start breaking the game down into its mathematics (plus he played a mean game of chess). Kordex was one of the nicest members we've had here, and will be known forever for his love breakfast cereals and the letter K. Pothead, well... he's Pothead. He gave the forum a lot of extra flavor, I'll tell you that.

And now we move on to...


#20 Favorite Forest Monster
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Which forest monster do people like best? Sadly, The Red Dragon faired poorly here, getting only 6th place. Other runners up include the Baby Dragon (0/4/4) and Adult Gold Dragon (2/2/0), so dragons are at least well-thought of.

In 3rd place... with 15 points... winning the Red Dragon Award is: Mutant Black Widow! (2/2/3)





In 2nd place... with 17 points... winning the Violet Award is: Kal Torak! (1/6/1)





And in 1st place... with a whopping 56 points... winning the Nuke Award is everyone's favorite cash farm: Humongous Black Wyre!! (12/3/2)

What can I say folks? We here at Nuklear LRD like painful surprise death and easy money!


#19 Best Avatar
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Here we voted for the people who had the coolest avatars. Lots of decent competition here. Here are some of the runners up: Sky Lynx for his burning stick figure avatar (2/1/0) and Vampire Princess for her various attractive avatars (2/1/4). And now our winners:

In 3rd place... with 18 points... winning the Red Dragon Award for his cinematic masterpiece: Kroz! (4/1/0)





In 2nd place... with 20 points... winning the Seth Award for her I am not a Nugget! avatar is: ChiliCat! (3/4/0)





And in 1st place... with 28 points... winning the Nuke Award for his dancing pixelninja is: El Castrador! (5/3/2)

Kroz made an excellent run at the end, jumping quickly from nowhere to 3rd place after he brought in his heavy gun of an avatar (which should win an award for longest avatar, I'd think), but was unable to catch up to the surreal cuteness of I am not a Nugget! or the mystifying properties of the ninjadance.


#18 Best Signature
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Whose signatures do we most enjoy? Votes were mostly spread out though people enjoyed Herb's (1/3/1), Secret's (2/1/0), Amadeus's (1/2/2) and mine (1/2/2). But who won? We're about to find out!

In 3rd place... with 12 points... winning the Red Dragon Award and narrowly missing the tiebreaker: Hidden Imp! (1/2/4)





In 2nd place... with 12 points... winning the Violet Award is our very own: El Castrador! (1/3/2)





And in 1st place... blowing out the competition with 30 points... winning the Nuke Awardis the master of quoting: Manex! (7/1/0)

There's a lot of funny and endearing signatures out there folks, go check 'em all out!


#17 Most Frustrating Master
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Which Level Master do we love to bitch about constantly as they defeat our attempts to advance time and time again? While the top two are predictable, there was heated battle for 3rd place before Atsuko Sensei finally dropped into the runner up spot with (2/4/5). So how were the results ordered?

In 3rd place... with 21 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Halder! (2/4/5)





In 2nd place... with 36 points... winning the Violet Award: Gandalf! (2/11/6)





In 1st place... with 85 points... winning the Nuke Award and getting the most points in the entire contest: Turgon! (18/5/3)

Halder is surprisingly tough for a low level master and has been halting good post-dragon runs for awhile now. Gandalf is feared greatly by those who think they'll have a shot at 12, but come to a screeching halt before they can so much as sneeze on Turgon. Turgon? I don't think I have to tell you why he's frustrating when level 12 is in sight.


#16 Favorite Subforum
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Where do we like to hang out on the forum? Runners up include the Green Realm (2/4/4), Strategy (2/4/3) and All Realms (0/3/6) forums, but a certain few attracted the most attention. Who were they? Let's find out!


In 3rd place... with 24 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Red Realm Forum! (4/3/2)





In 2nd place... with 27 points... winning the Violet Seth Award: Forum Games! (4/5/1)





In 1st place... with 61 points... winning the Nuke Award: Completely Off Topic! (4/5/1)

When we're not busy ranting about Red Realm manners, we like to kick back with a nice game or some banter that's unrelated to LORD. Plus, where else are we going to go flame wars, political discussions, and talk about cheese?


#15 Best Forum Thread
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There was not a lot of participation in this thread, but it should come as no surprise that we like our games. And now...

In 3rd place... with 8 points... winning the Red Dragon Award is Mrs. tmo for: The Last Word! (4/3/2)





In 2nd place... with 13 points... winning the Violet Award is Manex for: The Ultimate Contest of Coolness! (4/3/2)





In 1st place... with 14 points... winning the Nuke Award is Manex for: Crush My Wishes! (4/3/2)

A lot of fun we've had with those games, and it looks to continue into the future!


#14 Most Skilled Flamer
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Every forum has people that can pull off a witty retort or sling a well-crafted burn. Who here can pull it off the best? Runners up include: Manex (1/4/1), Me (2/1/3), Hidden Imp (2/1/4), Silver Girl (2/2/2), and Sombra (3/1/0). Who won? That's what we're about to tell you.

In 3rd place... with 16 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Amadeus! (2/3/2)





In 2nd place... with 27 points... winning the Violet Award: Darksoulz! (4/4/3)





And in 1st place... with 40 points... winning the Nuke Award: El Castrador! (4/3/2)

Amadeus has learned the art of the fucker fucker fucker when asking for Rules Enforcement (which I have been slacking on heavily this round). Darksoulz, in his banter with El Castrador and the enemies of his fan club has shown a great ability with, well... banter. ANd I think recent events have shown you what El Castrador can do. And now on to what I can "The Happy Category."


#13 Nicest
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I referred to this as "Most likely to give you a cookie? Who's most likely to give you a cookie? Well, our runners up at Herb and Hidden Imp at (1/2/1). Who beat them to cookie-giving greatness?

In 3rd place... with 9 points... winning the Red Dragon Award (and the tiebreaker): LadyLord! (2/0/1)




In 2nd place... with 25 points... winning the Seth Award ...she's no nugget: ChiliCat! (4/3/3)





In 1st place... with 37 points... winning the Nuke Award, the nicest of them all: Electra! (7/4/1)

What can I say? That's a heaping helping of nice right there.


#12 Most Arrogant
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I was a little skeptical of including this category, but I felt that everyone involved would take it in good humor, so I now present you the runners up: Me (2/0/2) and Darksoulz (4/2/1). This was one of the most embattled categories, with the three winners changing positions many times throughout the balloting process. Who won? Let's go see:

In 3rd place... with 30 points... winning the Red Dragon Award, the man who first suggested the category: HotShot! (5/4/2)





In 2nd place... with 36 points... winning the Violet Award, showing that second and third place votes can be significant: El Castrador! (3/9/6)





And in 1st place... with 42 points... winning the Nuke Award, the baninator: Amadeus! (7/5/4)

And we mean most arrogant in the nicest way possible.


#11 Best in Bed
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Who do we think is the best in bed? This is another category that was fairly spread out, except for the top position, which you probably saw coming. (I know, if I insert any more puns into this, you're going to scream). With that said, on to the winners!

In 3rd place... with 9 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Princess Tomato! (1/2/1)




In 2nd place... with 11 points... winning the Seth Award: ChiliCat! (0/4/3)





And in 1st place... with 55 points... winning the Nuke Award and knocking the sheets off the competition: Silver Girl! (11/3/5)

Who else but Silver Girl was qualified to with this? Silver Girl has become our symbol for the in-game lay queen and looks to continue this status for rounds to come!


#10 Least Favorite LORD Bug
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LORD has a lot of bugs, some of them more frustrating than others. There was a good sampling of them found in this category, including runners up: The Nonexistent Gambling Bug (2/2/0), Two People Can Kill the Same Target (1/4/2), and Enemies Staying Alive After You Kill Them (1/5/2). But which bugs got top notice? Here they are:

In 3rd place... with 24 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Disconnections! (5/2/0)





In 2nd place... with 27 points... winning the Violet Seth Award: The Lay Bug! (4/3/5)





And in 1st place... with 39 points... winning the Nuke Award: The Duel/Message Bug! (8/3/1)

Disconnections have plagued various people over the years, and it's always frustrating to be at a critical point, unable to log back in. The lay bug is an effect of the game not saving at every point in time. Level 1 players are sometimes treated as level 12 players after killing the dragon. For this reason, it is improtant to always look at the Midnight Master's weapon after killing the dragon if you expect to get any romantic mail replies from people. The Duel/Message bug is the source of a lot of duelkilling by accident. Players receiving mail when attacking an offline player often end up in a duel with the mail's sender rather than their intdended target, leading to wasted gold and arguments. But now come on people. No mention, not one vote for the midnight bug? I know we've eradicated it, but it's infamous. Infamous I say! ;)


#9 Best Realm
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We are a diverse bunch, and as such we each prefer the ruleset of a certain realm. Which realms were preferred? Not the Test Realm (0/6/2). Most players who voted for the Test Realm did so at the expense of the Red Realm. Will this hurt Red's Status as the killing grounds of the elite players of old? Let's find out:

In 3rd place... with 56 points... winning the Red Dragon Award, our newest color realm: Green Realm! (8/7/10)





In 2nd place... with 59 points... winning the Violet Seth Award, the friendly fields: Blue Realm! (8/9/9)





And in 1st place... with 64 points... winning the Nuke Award, the bloody plain: Red Realm! (12/5/6)

This was a very heated battle, with the realms shifting orders several times. However, a late push from Rde Realm voters was enough to secure victory. Will this result hold next year? Time will tell!


#8 Best Rivalry
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People long to engage in competition. Who best marks this timeless passion? Which matchups are the things of legend? Some people thought Brazil vs. The United States (2/0/0) was good, but what truly stood out on the field of LORD and in the forum?

In 3rd place... with 13 points... sharing the Red Dragon Award: Amadeus vs. The Mystical One! (3/0/1)





In 2nd place... with 28 points... sharing the Violet Seth Award: El Castrador vs. Silver Girl! (3/7/2)





And in 1st place... with 30 points... sharing the Nuke Award: Darksoulz vs. El Castrador! (6/3/0)

Amadeus and I have disagreed on many things in the past, but this in generally a friendly rivalry. I think everyone has remember the verbal battles between El Castrador and Silver girl, though both have done an excellent job lately of keeping things calm between each other. Lastly, who can forget the banter between Darksoulz and El Castrador that has fueled many threads past their normal lifespan?


#7 Best Moderator
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Which moderator is best at his or her job? The runners up are: Hagakure (1/1/3), Nightmare (SPoG) (2/1/4), who made a good push after his reappearance, and Aglaranna (0/6/6). That leaves us with:

In 3rd place... with 24 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Electra! (3/5/2)





In 2nd place... with 34 points... winning the Seth Award: ChiliCat! (4/6/6)





And in 1st place... with 62 points... winning the Nuke Award: Hidden Imp! (13/4/2)

Electra has done a stand-up job with keeping the place civil. As one of the original board moderators, make sure you give her a round of applause for her service. ChiliCat is one of the original subforum moderators. She has recently taken more responsibility, expanding to the games and off topic forums and has done a marvelous job fair moderation. Hidden Imp was one of my expansion board moderators, taking on the roles when Hagakure and Electra started getting busy. He has done an excellent job partrolling the boards throughout his days, even though he has not been an active player much lately. And finally, don't forget the jobs the others have done, as their contributions are greatly appreciated by me.

#6 Most Genderless
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Who's gender do we always struggle over? Somewhat notable runners up include pinkbunnies and Darksoulz (both 1/1/1) as well as Manex (1/2). But who is really the most genderless?

In 3rd place... with 11 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: raginbull! (2/1/1)





In 2nd place... with 19 points... winning the Violet Seth Award: Eliim! (2/4/3)





In 1st place... with 56 points... overwhelmingly winning the Nuke Award: Aglaranna! (13/2/0)

For awhile, Aglaranna had the most points out of anyone in any category, before Turgon eventually overtook her. Er him. Right. Aglaranna, Queen of Elvendar has confused many many members of the forum ever since his arrival. I was even informed by him of his gender and still managed to get confused later on. And that's why he deserves this award.


#5 Greatest Contributer
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These are the people who contribute most to our LORD Community. Make sure you shake their [virtual] hands. This was a pretty spread out category, with no clear winner until the last ballot. The most notable runners up are Hidden Imp (1/2/3), Herb (2/1/1) and ChiliCat (2/1/2).

In 3rd place... with 15 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: El Castrador! (1/4/3)





In 2nd place... with 20 points... winning the Violet Award: HotShot! (4/1/2)





In 1st place... with 40 points... winning the Nuke Award: Amadeus! (8/3/2)

El Castrador and HotShot have both donated a lot of their time to the rewrite project. HotShot is often there to answer strategy questions, and El Castrador has created projects to help fund Nuklear LORD. Amadeus from the beginning has been the one of the most diligent member in tracking down rulebreakers. He has constantly kept watch and tried to bring about the best changes for a healthy playing environment. Give them all a hand, forks!


#4 Best Newcomer
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Defined as the best new member since May 8, 2006. Please note that anyone who who joined after balloting began will be elligible for this category next time around. Yes, this means you, Dozhbog. Notable runners up are louisefemme (1/2/1), Willoughby (1/2/4), and Benecia (3/0/3). However, the top three newcomers to have made their mark are:

In 3rd place... with 17 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Tymorn! (2/3/3)





In 2nd place... with 39 points... winning the Violet Award: DariusSongblade! (7/4/3)





In 1st place... with 45 points... winning the Nuke Award: LadyLord! (7/7/3)

These three have been great contributors since their arrival and we look forward to their continuing involvement within the community. Fun Fact: LadyLord for a little while was winning without the benefit of having the most first place votes.


#3 The Happy Ninja Award
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And now, in the role of "dumbest lack of foresight in awards creation history" is the Happy Ninja Award! Somebody remind me next year to pay attention to people's avatars, signatures, and names before naming an award. I still don't know what this award was supposed to mean. With that said, notable runners up are: Mrs. tmo (formely Butterfly Ninja) (2/0/0), Sombra (who should have gotten more votes, since he's named after the greatest ninja from the one of the greatest RPGs ever) (1/2/1), and Manex (1/3/0). However, winning this award are:

In 3rd place... with 10 points... winning the Red Dragon Award (and the tiebreaker): Hidden Imp! (2/1/0)





In 2nd place... with 15 points... winning the Violet Award: The Mystical One! (2/2/3)





And in 1st place... with 38 points... winning the Nuke Award: El Castrador! (9/0/2)

Hidden Imp hides in corners. Is he happy? Is he a ninja? We may never know. I have no idea why you people voted for me. I'm about as un-ninja as you can get. But thanks! El Castrador practically won by default with his dancing pixel ninja avatar. Oops.


#2 Best Player
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Who do we think is the best overall player here? Our notable runner up is Hotshot (2/6/4), but who made the top 3? Who do you guys think is currently the best player? How long can I type out this introduction before I actually get to the awards? Not much longer, that's how long.

In 3rd place... with 26 points... winning the Red Dragon Award: Amadeus! (3/3/8)





In 2nd place... with 44 points... winning the Violet Award: Aglaranna! (6/9/2)





In 1st place... with 70 points... winning the Nuke Award: The Mystical One! (14/6/2)

Amadeus is one of our most veteran players. He's won two rounds and is almost always in competition for the top 5, if not the win. Aglaranna has proven to be almost unnaturally good, excelling with one of the fastest average win times, and holding a triple crown (a win in each realm). He's got remarkable skills at snagging oppotunity. Lastly, thank you all for the votes. While I disagree with the ranking (I think I should be lower, and I believe others are currently better than me), it means a lot to me. Now lets get on to or last category....


#1 Best Nuklear LORD Members
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This is a combination of the Best Female and Best Male Categories, which will be given out simultaneously. Best Female had tight competition throughout the balloting. Runners up for Best Female are LadyLord (2/0/2), Secret (3/0/2) and Electra (3/2/1). Best male was a very spread out category, with no clear winners until the end. It was also one of the least voted-in categories (odd). Runners up for Best Male are Me (1/2/1), Meatwad (1/3/0), SirFB (2/1/0), and Manex (3/1/1). And finally... the winners, presented at the same time...

In 3rd place... with 24 and 16 points... each winning the Red Dragon Award: Silver Girl and Che Guevara! (3/4/4), (3/1/2)





In 2nd place... with 24 and 17 points... each winning a Seth or Violet Award: Princess Tomato and Herb! (4/4/0), (3/2/1)





In 1st place... with 35 and 20 points... each winning a Seth or Violet Award: ChiliCat and Hidden Imp! (5/7/1), (4/1/2)

All wonderful people! Give them a round of applause.



Until next time. In the words of Hagor, ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Postby Electra on Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:58 am

Second Annual Nuklear Awards
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(Disclaimer: Since I am writing the awards ceremonies this year, the flavour and tone will probably differ from last year's. Hopefully you will not find this to be a bad thing. As with tmo's version from last year, no one was actually interviewed for this. So, please bear in mind that everything is entirely fictional and meant in good fun. Also, I wrote this when sick with a fairly high fever. My sincerest apologies to those individuals not mentioned in here. You should speak up more in the forum so I can get to know you better. ;) No, really, I am sorry. I also apologise for taking forever to do this. I hope you can forgive me. Now, onto what I know you've all been waiting for. :))

Hello, and welcome to the Second Annual Nuklear Awards! I'm Electra, and I'll be your host for the arrivals, ceremony and after-party. Speaking of arrivals, here comes the always vibrant Secret. Secret just recently celebrated her birthday.

"I'll have some cake. In fact, give everyone some cake. Let them eat cake!"

Regretfully, I am not that kind of host. Ah, here is Nuklear newcomer Dravek.

"I want a naked blonde. No, wait, I want two.

As I said before, I am not that kind of host.

"What?"

Right then. Secret & Dravek seem to have joined several other Nuklear members -- LadyLord, Manex, Neon, Eliim, Dazhbog, Ashnknuckles, louisfemme, (DK) Orion, ShadowCaster & Magneto. The group appears to be talking very excitedly. Let's check it out.

LadyLord: "The last word is thankfulness, for all the people who put this thing together."
Dazhbog: "I agree with LadyLord -- this is pretty neat."
LadyLord: "Thanks, Dazh!"
Manex: "O, great, another Indiana nice person barf fest. This is ridiculous. Screw this. When the hell does the after-party start? I'm gonna need some alcohol if I have to listen to this all night."
Eliim: "After. ...Why do you ask?"
louisfemme: "Eliim, this is not the 'Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer' game."
Eliim: "Yes, it is. Isn't it?"
Neon: "It is what it is. We cannot make it into something it is not."
Secret: "It's mine now! Come and get it! Can't catch me 'cause I'm the Gingerbread Man!"
Dravek: "I love it when she talks dirty."

Secret has gone running off with her hand in the air clutching the invisible last word. Oh, there's Darksoulz -- Darksoulz, how does it feel to finally be here?

"Great. I'm just glad it's finally happening. I've been waiting forever. I'm really excited for the results."

And why's that?

"Because I'm awesome, and I want to find out what I won."

You seem very certain of yourself.

"If you were me, you'd be too."

Uh huh... Oh, hey, there's ChiliCat, one of Nuklear's beloved moderators.

"Ha! Moderators, beloved. Now's my chance to go complain and find out why she dislikes me so much.

I don't know if that's a good idea.

"I am Darksoulz. Every idea I have is a good one.

Let's follow Darksoulz and see how his talk with ChiliCat goes.

Image
Wow. It appears that ChiliCat has the situation under control. A warning for all -- don't mess with cats. Or moderators.

"That is censorship! We have a right to disagree with whatever we want."

Nuklear community's free speech advocate, Sir Finebuttocks, makes his voice heard. A dissident's work is never done. Ah! There are a couple of our Brazilian players, Sombra & Amadeus. Sombra appears to be attacking newbies as they arrive, and Amadeus is -- is he yelling at that person? Is that poor man crying?

"See? I told you! Cheaters, all of them! He says he is not a scumbag clone, and that it's his wife playing, but the idiot cheater shows up here by himself.
"Please! My wife is home sick!"
"Whatever. He is a liar. All of them are. They know the rules, they are not stupid. Where is tmo? He needs to ban this bastard."

Amadeus, we're... at the Nuklear Awards Ceremony. I'm sure tmo won't be able to do anything right now. He doesn't have access to a computer.

"Excuses."

Speaking of which, there's tmo now!

"Where? Where is he?"

Our fearless leader seems to have disappeared into the crowd once he caught sight of Amadeus. It looks like Amadeus has caught tmo's scent and is fresh on his tail. On the outskirts of the crowd is Dave Lister, yelling about the bad luck he's been having. However, no one seems to be paying him any attention. Dave should count himself lucky that Amadeus is currently tracking down tmo and therefore currently unavailable to lecture and badger -- er, counsel -- Dave about his technique.

Over here we have the Indiana players engaging in their own movie quote game.

Dazhbog: "Ok, I have one. 'Let's win this game for all the small schools that never had a chance to get here.'"
Boris the Black: "Hmm, is it Hoosiers?"
Dazhbog: "You've got it. Your turn."
Boris: "'There's a, um, tradition in tournament play not to talk about the next step until you've climbed the one in front of you. I'm sure going to the state finals is beyond your wildest dreams, so let's just keep it right there.'"
LadyLord: "Hoosiers! 'You know, if everyone is as nice as you, country hospitality is gonna get an awful name.'"
Manex: "Oh, hai, I bet I can guess that one. I can't believe I came here for this. Time to make my own fun."

Darius Songblade, Airlia, King Crimson and Jaydub have come over to join the movie quote trivia festivities.

Manex has gone off and seems to be arguing with Ram, each calling for the other to be banned. Secret just ran between the two, hand still held high, yelling, "It's still mine!" Dravek is standing at the side, clapping and egging the two on.

Einherjar, Valkyrie, Tymorn, Tikel, Drako and the others seem to be filing to their seats. The awards ceremony will be commencing momentarily, but before heading in we will talk to one last player -- Ryat. Ryat, you recently were the subject of much attention because of your lucky kill, but what we all really want to know is, why do you sign all your posts the way you do?

"Because I want to. Ryat, a social enigma."

Thank you, Ryat, for clearing up the confusion. That's all I have right now for you viewers at home. Stay tuned for the awards and for a sneak peak into the Nuklear Awards Ceremony after-party where you will hear from this year's winners & attendees.


(I had this done prior to the illness of doom, but just now got around to actually posting it. Hopefully I will get around to writing & posting the results later Saturday evening or Sunday. It all depends upon how I'm feeling. Keep your eyes open for that.)
Last edited by Electra on Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Electra on Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:00 am

First Annual Nuklear Awards - Results!
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(The following explanation of the scoring & results taken from last year.)

How this works... I'll list a few of the runners up (only in cases where it was reasonably close and/or the runners up got a significant amount of votes... or if I just feel like it.). Afterwards, I'll list the winners in the category from 3rd to 1st, in the following manner:

3rd - Jimmy Carter with 19 points! (1/4/7)
2nd - Ronald Reagan with 24 points! (3/3/6)
1st - George Bush with 33 points!(5/2/9)

Points are the total points (4 for 1st place votes, 2 for 2nd place votes, and 1 for 3rd place votes). The numbers in parentheses are the breakdown of the votes received: (1st/2nd/3rd).

Ties were broken using the quality of votes rule: The person with more first place votes wins the tiebreaker. If still tied, the person then with the most amount of second place votes breaks the tie. If still tied, the tie stands.

And now... the trophies!

1st place winners receive the coveted Nuke Award!

2nd place winners receive either the Seth Award or the Violet Award! (Or in certain cases maybe the Seth Violet Award... or is that the Violet Seth Award?)

3rd place winners receive the Red Dragon Award!

And now... on to the results!

#1 Least Likely to Win Anything
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As with last year, this award does not have any runner-ups since the slur of scores were all very close. Ram & Darksoulz managed to make the list again this year, except this time they each were bumped up a spot.

In 3rd place, with 7 points, winning the Red Dragon Award is: Darius Songblade! (1/1/1)



In 2nd place, with 8 points, winning the Seth Able Award: Darksoulz! (1/1/2)



And in 1st place, with 14 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: Ram! (3/1/-)

Darksoulz & Ram have managed to make the cut for the second year in a row. Will the third time be the charm, or will the two be back here receiving this award again next year? Congratulations to all three for their win, proving themselves the Hares of the Nuklear Awards Ceremony!


#2 Most Missed MIA Poster
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The Nuklear community has seen its share of some pretty great people. Unfortunately, not all of them have remained with us. We all love to reminisce over the old days of Nuklear LORD, and although some people have moved on from the community, we still miss them immensely and we hope they're happy where they are. Of course, we'd be much happier if they would come back and share their happiness back here with all of us. :) The distribution of scores was extremely close, and the closest runner-ups, with 8 points, were Herb, Katers, Silverfangs & Aglaranna. However, I will include a list of all members voted for in this category for your reminiscing pleasure: Kordex, Wart, Bammy, Electra (Hi there! I am still around. In fact, I am the one writing this. Thanks for thinking of me, though.), Jalyn, Amadeus (Still very much around. Just ask the cheaters.), mkiisupra1982, ChiliCat (Again, still around), Einherjar (Also still around), Hap, HotShot (I believe he's still around as well.), Indica, Logos (I believe he is, too.), Meatwad, Minet, Pyra, Silver Girl (She's still around in the game.), Thundercloud, Vagabond, Zydar the Unpleasant, Claudia (Still around), Bomania, Conway, EmagdniM (This is Ram. He is still here.), Hagakure, Nuke Skyjumper, PotHead, Yaoming11. If that list tells us anything, it's that we are not very good observers. :) Some of those people who I did not specifically mention may still be around and I just didn't notice. However, a good number of them still are, so cheer up!

In 3rd place, with 9 points, winning the Red Dragon Award: Hidden Imp! (2/-/1)



In 2nd place, with 10 points, winning the Violet Award: Vampire Princess! (2/1/-)



And in 1st place, with 16 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: El Castrador! (3/2/-)

Hidden Imp is probably hiding in a corner somewhere. I'm sure we could coax him out more if we tried. Vampire Princess was a lovely addition to the Nuklear community, and an extremely kind individual. El Castrador was one of Nuklear's more spirited members, and it is probably no surprise to many that I am rather partial to him myself. Maybe one day I'll be able to break him down into coming back, and by that I mean maybe my harassment will eventually start wearing him down.


#3 Most Arrogant
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It is interesting to note that no one voted for in this category was a female. The top members in this category were very clear in the voting, though the scores among were extremely close between the 2nd, 3rd and runner-up places. The winner, however, was very clear.

In 3rd place, with 23 points, winning the Red Dragon Award: Darksoulz! (3/4/3)



In 2nd place, also with 23 points, winning the Seth Award is: Dravek! (5/1/1)



And in 1st place, with 31 points, winning the Nuke Award is long-time veteran: Amadeus! (6/3/1)

Amadeus grabbed the Nuke Award for Most Arrogant for the second year in a row. Dravek just managed to squeeze by Darksoulz for the 2nd place award. Close behind Darksoulz was runner-up Dazhbog with 22 points. No other member voted for in this award came close to the title of Most Arrogant. These guys just exude confidence, and we do mean exude!


#4 Nicest, aka "Most Likely to Give You a Cookie"
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If your name is Manex, you may want to just skip over this award. Again, the top winners for this award were pretty clear, but Neon & Secret are the runner-ups with 12 points each. Incidentally enough, the winners all happen to be Indiana natives.

In 3rd place, with 20 points, winning the Red Dragon Award is: LadyLord! (3/4/-)



In 2nd place, with 22 points, winning the Seth Award: Dazhbog! (2/5/4)



And in 1st place, with 36 points, winning the Nuke Award: Me! (7/3/2)

LadyLord & I kept the same spots as last year, and Dazhbog managed to snatch the 2nd place spot, proving that one can be both arrogant & kind. We'll be the ones handing out the cookies at the after-party, so make sure to stop by and get one. ;)


#5 Best Avatar
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There are a lot of pretty unique & awesome avatars in the community, but the following ones seem to draw the most attention:


In 3rd place, with 13 points, winning the Red Dragon Award with his Alucard avatar: Ashnknuckles! (2/2/1)



In 2nd place, with 21 points, winning the Seth Award for his trademark Gordon Freeman with crowbar avatar we have: Manex! (3/4/1)



And in 1st place, with 29 points, winning the Nuke Award for her girl with pink hair avatar is: LadyLord! (6/2/1)

Runner-ups included ChiliCat's cat licking the screen avatar with 9 points and Dravek's avatar of himself & crosses with 7 points. Congratulations to LadyLord, Manex & Ashnknuckles!


#6 Best Signature
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The voting for best signature was pretty close all the way around. Eliim, our runner-up with 12 points, was just barely beat out of the third place position. Who managed to squeeze past Eliim?

In 3rd place, with 12 points and 1 more first place vote than Eliim, winning the Red Dragon Award is: Secret! (3/-/-)



In 2nd place, with 14 points, winning the Violet Award: Me! (1/4/2)



And in 1st place, with 16 points, winning the Nuke Award for the second year in a row we have: Manex! (2/3/2)

Clearly, we like our quotes.


#7 Most Skilled Flamer
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The winners for this award did not change much from the previous year. In fact, the second and third place winners remained the same! Our first place winner for this year, though, is different. Sir Finebuttocks is our runner-up with 17 points.

In 3rd place, with 22 points, winning the Red Dragon Award is: Amadeus! (3/4/2)



In 2nd place, also with 22 points, winning the Seth Award is: Darksoulz! (3/5/-)



And in 1st place, with 37 points, winning the Nuke Award: Manex! (7/3/3)

These three certainly never are at a loss for words, or comebacks! Amadeus' slur of unending cuss words is impressive even by Boondock Saints standards. Darksoulz & Manex make forum moderators & forum regulars the world over cringe every time they hop on their computers. And now onto the Best in Bed category, because nothing follows an argument quite as well as sex.

#8 Best in Bed
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Nuklear LORD has its fair share of lay queens, but which ones are our favourites? Our runner-ups include ChiliCat with 9 points and, in an interesting change, Tymorn & Dazhbog with 8 points. Congratulations to Tymorn & Dazhbog for making it into the running and giving LORD manwhores hope. ;)

In 3rd place, with 11 points, winning the Red Dragon Award:
Me! (2/1/1)



In 2nd place, with 15 points, winning the Violet Award is: Silver Girl! (2/3/1)



And in 1st place, with 24 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: Secret! (5/2/-)

Secret managed to make her way into the top and sneak past last year's winner, Silver Girl. Congratulations to all. Go get 'em, boys. (And girls!)

#9 Favourite Forest Monster
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This category ended up having the same results as last year and with a similar score distribution, though the runner-ups were different: Wicked Wombat & Bran the Warrior with 5 points each.

In 3rd place, with 19 points, winning the Red Dragon award we have: Mutated Black Widow! (3/3/1)



In 2nd place, with 21 points, winning the... Seth Award?, we have: Kal Torak! (2/6/1)



And in 1st place, with 52 points, winning the Nuke Award is: Humongous Black Wyre! (12/1/2)

We really love our level 12 forest monsters, but we love them even more when they're dead. We also love to complain about their powermoves.

#10 Least Favourite LORD Bug
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The results for this category were the same as last year, only the winners have switched places. Runner-ups include Empty Forest Event, Website Problems & Self Defence/Remain Alive, all with 6 points.


In 3rd place, with 12 points, winning the Red Dragon Award: Duel/Message Bug! (1/2/4)



In 2nd place, with 23 points, winning the...Seth...Violet...Award: Lay Bug! (4/2/3)



And in 1st place, with 38 points, winning the Nuke Award & our eternal resentment: Disconnect/Remain Online Bug! (9/1/-)

The Disconnect/Remain Online Bug skyrocketed from 3rd place last year to 1st place this year due to its recent prevalence. Nuklear LORD players do not like being cheated out of their kills, that's for sure. The Lay Bug very appropriately was the recipient of the Seth/Violet Award.


#11 Most Frustrating Master
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This category yielded the same results as last year, showing that we hold grudges for a very long time. Caspian & Sandtiger were the runner-ups with 8 points.

In 3rd place, with 14 points, winning the Red Dragon Award we have: Halder! (1/2/6)



In 2nd place, with 31 points, winning the Seth Award: Gandalf! (4/5/5)



And in 1st place, with 62 points, winning the Nuke Award of Hate we have: Turgon! (12/6/2)

Many would say that it's not the beginning or the end that matters, but the middle that counts. We here at Nuklear LORD would like to tell those people that they are idiots.

#12 Best/Favourite Realm
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Last year, Red Realm took first place of this award, and Blue & Green received 2nd and 3rd place, respectively. This year, however, the results completely flip-flopped.

In 3rd place, with 37 points, winning the Red Dragon Award: Red Realm! (5/5/7)



In 2nd place, with 48 points, winning the Seth/Violet Award: Blue Realm! (7/8/4)



And in 1st place, also with 48 points, winning the Nuke Award: Green Realm! (8/5/6)

It was a pretty close race between Green Realm & Blue realm, but Green Realm managed to beat out Blue Realm with one more first place vote. Red Realm, the winner of the category last year, fell to the back of the herd, beating out only the runner-up, Test Realm. It would seem that Red Realm has lost the prestige it held last year.

#13 Biggest Rivalry
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Nuklear LORD players have no problem fighting it out, whether in the game or in the forums, but which rivalries are the most memorable? Runner-up award for the category goes to Red Realm v. Other Realms with 5 points.

In 3rd place, with 11 points, winning the Red Dragon Award is: Amadeus v. Cheaters! (1/3/1)



In 2nd place, with 12 points, winning the Seth Award is: Darksoulz v. El Castrador! (3/-/-)



And in 1st place, with 17 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: Sire Finebuttocks v. The Administration (tmo)! (4/-/1)

Even though El Castrador is no longer active on the forums, the winning rivalry between Darksoulz & El Castrador of last year's awards still managed to make it into the top 3 this year. However, it wasn't able to overpower the rivalry between Sir Finebuttocks & tmo.

#14 Best Moderator
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The Nuklear LORD moderators are blessings to some and pain-in-the-butts to others, but which ones serve the Nuklear LORD community the best? Hidden Imp was the runner-up with 17 points.

3rd place, with 31 points, winning the Red Dragon Award is: ChiliCat! (4/6/3)



2nd place, with 35 points, winning the Seth Award is: SpoG/Nightmare! (5/6/3)



And in 1st place, with 41 points, winning the Nuke Award is: Me! (7/5/3)

ChiliCat & Nightmare have given a lot to the Nuklear community in their service and they've done pretty bang-up jobs. ChiliCat has done a fantastic job of keeping threads largely on-topic and separating off-topic comments into their own thread for discussion. She was originally the moderator for the Blue Realm forum, but she did such a great job as moderator there that her responsibilities were expanded. Nightmare, or SpoG, has done a pretty great job at being as fair and impartial as possible. He hasn't done a lot of moderation in his position as a moderator, and I think that positively reflects upon him as a moderator. He hasn't at all been power crazy. He was originally the moderator for the Red Realm forum and, again, was given more responsibility when tmo realised how awesome he was. I, on the other hand, apparently bribed a whole heck of a lot of you with cookies or alcohol or something. Thanks, Nightmare & ChiliCat, for all your service! We really appreciate it. Well, most of us do. :)

#15 Best Subforum
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Which subforum do we like the best? Are we game-obsessed or play-obsessed? Well, we're about to find out. The runner-up for this category was the Strategy Subforum with 15 points.

In 3rd place, with 17 points, winning the Red Dragon Award we have: All Realms! (2/2/5)



In 2nd place, with 22 points, winning the Seth/Violet Award:
Forum Games! (1/7/4)



And in 1st place, with 54 points, winning the Nuke Award & our undivided attention: Completely Off-Topic! (11/4/2)

Although we enjoy the more serious aspects of LORD, we enjoy our interaction more whether it be a game or a political discussion or help with a problem, or even just getting to know one another better. It just goes to show that we're not completely obsessed with LORD, just mostly obsessed. ;)

#16 Best Forum Thread
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There are literally thousands of threads in the forum. Some go unnoticed, some never seem to die. Which threads deserve to etched in our minds? Runner-ups include Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer with 7 points and then I love football and Reply with a picture (NO TEXT) with 6 points. So, without further ado, I present you with our favourite forum threads.

In 3rd place, with 8 points, winning the Red Dragon Award we have: LORD Photoshops! (1/1/2)



In 2nd place, with 9 points, winning the Seth Award we have: Ban Manex for blue realm news under the link! (2/-/1)



And in 1st place, with 18 points, winning the Nuke Award: The Last Word! (3/2/2)

Game Forum threads dominated the list yet again this year. The Last Word thread, recipient of the Red Dragon Award last year, managed to win first place this year. Over time, the thread has only gotten more popular. We really enjoy our games.


#17 Most Genderless Player
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Some players have left us puzzled & confused as to whether they are male or female. Einherjar & Neon were runner-ups with 6 points, but the following individuals managed to confuse the community the most:

In 3rd place, with 9 points, winning the Red Dragon Award is: Aglaranna! (2/-/1)



In 2nd place, with 14 points, winning the SETH Award (Yes, the SETH Award. Or is it? ;)) we have: Eliim! (3/1/-)



And in 1st place, with 20 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: Tikel! (4/1/2)

Aglaranna was the 1st place winner of this award last year and Eliim was the 2nd place winner, and yet they still remain mysteries to the Nuklear LORD community. Tikel, however, is a whole new mystery.

#18 Greatest Contributor
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This award is about recognising the people whose contributions to this community are the most noticed & appreciated, but who are they? The runner-ups for this award include Dravek with 8 points and me with 5 points.

In 3rd place, with 16 points, winning the Red Dragon Award: HotShot! (3/2/-)



In 2nd place, with 37 points, winning the Seth Award is: Amadeus! (6/6/1)


And in 1st place, with 40 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: Dazhbog! (8/3/2)


Amadeus & HotShot received the 1st & 2nd place awards last year, but they were both passed up by Dazhbog. Dazhbog has posted an impressive amount of posts in the relatively short time he's been a member of the community. He has, by far, the highest post per day count of any of the forum members. The forum wouldn't be the same without any of them. Thanks to all of them for enriching our community!

#19 Best Newcomer
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The past year has seen several new additions to the Nuklear LORD community, and although dealing with the jabs from the vets can be rough at times, this award is our way of saying welcome, and thanks for joining our community. Runner-ups include Ashnknuckles with 22 points and Boris the Black with 16 points.

In 3rd place, with 23 points, winning the Red Dragon Award we have: Dravek! (3/5/1)



In 2nd place, with 24 points, winning the Seth Award we have: (DK) Orion! (2/5/6)



And in 1st place, with 49 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: Dazhbog! (11/2/1)

We're all very glad that these 3 have been so active in the forums and we look forward to their continuing participation in the year to come.


#20 The Grue Award
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Uhm. This award is... well, it's pretty much whatever you want to make of it. The runner-ups for this award are Dravek & Sir Finebuttocks with 12 points each. With that said, let's see how you guys voted on this one.

In 3rd place, with 13 points, winning the Red Dragon Award: Manex! (3/-/1)



In 2nd place, with 16 points, winning the Seth Award: Darksoulz! (2/3/2)



And in 1st place, with 17 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: The Mystical One! (4/-/1)

Congratulations, you 3! I have no idea what this award means, but apparently all the voters do, since the outcome was a pretty clear one.

#21 Best Player
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This award is to acknowledge who Nuklear LORD players consider the best player, either past or present. These individuals force people to hold off on choosing a realm at the beginning of the round because no one wants to play with them since no one else has a chance of winning with them around. They're the people we both admire and loathe. Notable runner-ups include Nightmare with 15 points and Amadeus & Einherjar with 12 points.

In 3rd place, with 20 points, winning the Red Dragon Award is: HotShot! (3/4/-)



In 2nd place, also with 20 points, winning the Seth Award is: The Mystical One! (4/2/-)



And in 1st place, with 27 points, winning the Nuke Award is: Tymorn! (5/2/3)

The Mystical One, our co-sysop, has been around here since the very beginning. HotShot has contributed to the community by posting tables of statistics and odds in the game which have been of great use to a great many people. Tymorn has only been a part of the community for a little over a year and has already impressed us all with his skill. Congratulations to all three.

#22 Best Female & Male
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This is a combined award and both will be given out concurrently. The runner-ups for Best Female are louisfemme with 18 points and ChiliCat with 10 points. The runner-ups for Best Male are Tymorn with 9 points and Neon with 8 points. And now, onto our winners!

In 3rd place, with 22 points & 14 points, winning the Red Dragon Award we have: LadyLord & Manex! (3/2/6), (3/-/2)



In 2nd place, with 27 points & 17 points, winning the Violet & Seth Award we have: Me & HotShot! (4/5/1), (3/2/1)



And in 1st place, with 32 points & 28 points, winning the Nuke Award we have: Secret & Dazhbog! (6/3/2), (6/2/-)

It's interesting to note that the winners this year, both females and males, are entirely different from the winners of last year. It is also interesting to note that someone voted for Dravek in the Best Female category. That amuses me to no end. Congratulations to all!

#23 Create Your Own Award
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This award ended up being terribly confusing and I had to ask tmo a multitude of times to explain it to me. Only 3 people ended up getting awards, and I think the awards were supposed to be amalgamated into one big award of awesominity, but that required mental exertion. So, instead, I am just listing the awards each of the 3 people are being given.l

Dazhbog is receiving the following awards:
*Most Likely to Get a Stroke from Working Too Hard on His Dissertation
*Biggest Postwhore
*Most Versed in Russian History & Culture
*Biggest Douchebag



Manex is receiving the following awards:
*Biggest Douchebag
*Most Criminal Behavior (I even used the American spelling just for him!)
*Most Likely to Get Perma-Banned



Sir Finebuttocks is receiving the following awards:
*Fight the Power
*Most Likely to be Gay/Happy
*Most Articulate Supporter of Laissez-Faire Economics



Well, there you have it. That concludes the end of the Second Annual Nuklear Awards Ceremonies. Thank you to all who participated in voting. I hope you had fun. Stick around for the after-party that's coming later. :)
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Postby Electra on Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:00 am

Second Annual Nuklear Awards - After-Party!
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Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed the awards ceremony. Right now I am at the first ever Nuklear Awards Ceremony after-party with this year's winners and attendees who are just beginning to arrive from the ceremony. Here's Sir Finebuttocks arriving now with what appears to be a beer in his hand. Sir Finebuttocks, you just got to the party. How do you already have a beer?

"Oh, this? This one's mine. Never leave the house without one.

Very sound advice. You've got a headstart on the rest of us, though.

"Not if I can help it!"

Ah, Manex! You've arrived. Are you... drunk? Already?

"Shh, don't tell anyone."

How'd you get alcohol before the after-party?

"I don't know, but Sir Finebuttocks definitely didn't have anything to do with it."

Sir Finebuttocks, did you give Manex alcohol? You do know he's underage, right?

"Underage according to whom, our government? A government that is supposed to serve the people and that is supposedly democratic? Nothing about it is democratic. They'd let him go fight and die in a war for their own selfish causes, but they won't let him have liquor. Yeah, real democratic. If they won't listen to me, I'm not going to listen to them."

"Ya, what he said! Bring on the liquor! Whoo! Who wants to play video games?"

The Mystical One: "Dude, you're at a party full of geeks. Did you seriously just ask that?"

"Drunk gaming FTW! ZOMG, I'm totally gonna kick tmo's ass. That totally roxxors."

Ashnknuckles: "Count me in!"

Darksoulz: "Darksoulz will play. He will show you how it's done."

Several people are going over to play games now. Dazhbog is currently talking to louisfemme about theatre, and Neon & Eliim appear to have begun a game of Scrabble.

Here comes Dravek. So, Dravek, how do you feel about winning an award for your arrogance?

"I'm not arrogant, I'm a UNITED STATES ARMY RANGER. Oh, by the way, want a drink?"

Oh, no, thank you. I'm hosting this, so I probably shouldn't have any.

"How'd you like to be hosting me in bed tonight? Only for tonight, though. Come morning your ass better be gone."

Charming, Dravek, simply charming.

"I'm not trying to be charming, I'm trying to get laid."

Oh, there's LadyLord. Hey!

"Hey, Electra! Hey, Dravek!"

"LadyLord, would you like a drink?"

"I don't drink."

Dravek, are you going to offer a drink to every female here?

"Yes, and then I'm going to go home with the drunkest one at the end of the night."

Good luck with that.

Manex: "HAY, where's Dazhbog? Tell him to get his nerdy ass over here to play with us and destroy his brain."

Dazhbog: "Oh, I'm not that much of a drinker, or a gamer, really."

Manex: "Stop being a wuss. We must battle it out for the title of Biggest Douchebag. With Guitar Hero II! Then everyone will know that I'm the rockingest douchebag EVAR."

Dazhbog: "Well, if I must."

Oh, there's Amadeus, Tymorn, Einherjar & Drako. Hello, all!

Amadeus: "Hello, little girl."

What are you guys talking about?

Drako: "Strategy."

At a party.

Tymorn: "It's going to be one hell of a race to the end."

Amadeus: "I am testing them."

Testing them? What do you mean?

Amadeus: "I am finding out what they would do in situations. I want to make sure they are not idiots."

Drako & Einherjar aren't even in your realm.

Amadeus: Yes, but if one wins he should win by skill."

YOU ARE TALKING STRATEGY. AT A PARTY.

Amadeus: "Oh, forget it, little girl. You do not understand."

...Anyway. Eliim does not appear to be playing Scrabble with Neon anymore. It looks like he's chasing Secret around.

Eliim: "That last word's been yours long enough!"

I wonder who will have it by the end of the night. The party just started a little bit ago and already Manex is running around with underwear on his head.

Sir Finebuttocks: "Someone better be taping this."

Jaydub, too, appears to be rather tipsy.

Jaydub: "I'm just getting started. I haven't even had any Jameson yet!"

ChiliCat & Neon are over at the bar talking, and here comes Darksoulz.

Darksoulz: "Hey, ChiliCat."

ChiliCat: "I'm talking to Neony."

Darksoulz: "Could you get me a cookie?"

ChiliCat: "Get your own cookie."

Once again, Darksoulz gets the cold shoulder.

Darksoulz: "She's just playing hard to get."

Over we go to Secret & Sir Finebuttocks who are sitting & talking while they eat cake. So, Secret, how old are you? Everyone's been dying to know.

Secret: "It's a SECRET."

Well, I have some sort of an idea, but I'm sure everyone would like an accurate age.

Secret: "Ideas are BAD. Oh, look at the time. I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date! No time to say hello -- Goodbye! -- I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"

I think someone's being elusive.

Eliim: "It's mine! It's mine! I finally got it, the last word!"

Neon: "Not anymore!"

Eliim: "You bastard! I played Scrabble with you!"

Ah, Neon & Eliim, the paragon of an old married couple. I bet Neon won't be getting any lay requests tomorrow when he plays LORD. It's the virtual couch for him tonight!

On the topic of Blue Realm players, there's Tikel, the current realm leader. So, Tikel, is it true that you meant for your name to be Tickle and misspelled it?

"Yes, I'm still not sure how I managed to do that."

Probably because you're from Croatia and the English language is completely screwy.

"So's your shoe sizing system. I still don't understand it. Can you explain it to me?"

Umm, nope! I'd feel so much more comfortable answering language questions.

"Does ANYONE in your country know the answer?"

I'm sure there are a few people who could help you, but no one I know. We're Americans. We just sorta do whatever we want. There is no reason to our madness.

Ryat: "You're telling me! Ryat, a proud Canadian."

Um, yeah, so, anyway. Just to clear things up for everyone, Tikel, you are a male?

"Yes."

And you're positive about that?

"Yes."

Even though you play as a female in the game?

"Yes."

And why, exactly, do you play as a female in the game when you are actually a male?

"Strategy -- females receive more benefits."

So, it's not because you're actually a female?

"No."

Because you're not a female. You're a male. Right?

"...Yes."

OK. Good. Well, that certainly elucidates things.

Hey, Ashnknuckles! How's it going? I see you're not playing the movie quote game anymore.

"No one ever gets my movies. Am I the only one who watches movies? What is WRONG with these people??"

Yeah, well, some of them can't even write proficiently enough in their first language. What do you expect?

darth kevin: "oh im srry if u want gud grammer u shuld prolly read a book instead of teh internets. this is how ur supposd 2 rite on teh internet srsly"

WTF did he just say?

Eliim: "I think he said that you have lovely hair."

Oh, ok.

ShadowCaster: "Hey, when does the party end?"

louisfemme: "When everyone is gone. Why does Dravek keep hitting on me every 3 minutes?"

Dravek: "Because you're HOTT! Why won't you sleep with me?"

louisfemme: "I have standards. Who has the last word?"

(DK) Orion: "I do!"

Ah! Amadeus seems to have finally cornered tmo, a very drunk tmo.

Amadeus: "Delete them! Delete the bastards!"

tmo: "Who am I deleting?"

Amadeus: "Everyone I tell you to."

tmo: "Ok!"

Tymorn: "Hey, Amadeus!"

tmo: "A-ma-deus."

Tymorn: "Is he doing it?"

Amadeus: "Yes, he is."

tmo: "Done!"

Amadeus: "What? I didn't tell you anyone yet."

tmo: "Yup, right there -- Amadeus."

Amadeus: "YOU DELETED ME?! SHIT."

Manex: "Dude! You got deleted! ROFFLE!"

Tymorn: "Does this mean I win?"

Amadeus: "Fucker, fucker, fucker!"

Wow. I don't think anyone could've seen that coming. No -- wait -- yes, yes, we could.

Welp, folks, that's all the coverage we have time for. This is your host, Electra, and thank you for joining us for the Second Annual Nuklear Awards Ceremonies. We hope to see you again next year!




Magneto: "Hey, I have the last word!"
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The 3rd Annual Nuklear Awards Ceremony Part 1

Postby injektilo on Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:19 pm

First up, before we kick off the Awards Ceremony recap I want to give a *HUGE* thanks to Valkyrie for putting together this entire Awards Ceremony almost single handedly. It's a stunning effort and makes for a great read. Also, the awards were too long to be posted in one thread, so we have two parts.

edit: Also, in case it isn't clear at first, each of the awards have a link which is to the wonderful trophies designed by (DK) Orion! Take your trophy and do with it what you please! :)

Ok, on with the show.

~~~~

Good evening, everyone! And welcome to this special edition of Entertainment Midnight, the show that brings you the HOTTest, COOLest and SEXYest news from every Realm in the Nukleaverse! Tonight we're very pleased to announce our special Wrap-up Show, following the live 3rd Annual Nuklear Awards Ceremony, held at an earlier time.

Although the evening was a resounding success, you didn't need to be there, because we'll bring you all the evening's highlights and special events right now! Keep it right here on the Nuke Channel; we'll be back after this short word from our sponsors.

~~~~

Abdul's Armor

For those times when life hits back, protect yourself with the latest, finest designs in defensive equipment, period. Whether you're looking for that player kill two levels up, trying to slip past Gandalf, or just hoping to survive the level 5 forest, we've got what you need. Stop in today!

Abdul's Armor, Town Square
Between the Inn and Turgon's Training Hall

~~~~


All right, we're back. Let's get into the show!

Three of our very own masters graciously agreed to help emcee this year's show: Aragorn, Atsuko Sensei, and Prince Caspian. So if any of you had an easier time than usual leveling up in Red Realm yesterday, that's why.

A note on the color scheme below: Aragorn's words will appear in red text, Atsuko's in black, and Caspian's in blue.

Atsuko got things started with a fine introduction of the Nuklear Academy.

Tonight, the Nuklear LoRD Academy presents the Third Annual Nuklear Awards. We thank you for joining us.

Now tonight, at last, after eons of waiting, we learn who among us is categorically worthy, and whether or not bothering to host this live in chat was anywhere near as an awesome idea as it originally sounded.

The Nuklear LoRD Academy is the world’s preeminent LoRD-related organization, with a membership of more than 900 of the most accomplished men and women working in dragon-slaying.

In addition to the annual Nuklear Awards – in which the members vote to select the winners – the Nuklear LoRD Academy presents a diverse year-round slate of public forums, chat channels and rounds of play; receives financial support for a wide range of technical endeavors and site improvements; acts as a neutral advocate in the advancement of dragon slaying technology; and, through its Nuke Skyjumper Library and Previous Rounds Archive, collects, preserves, restores and provides access to games and stats related to their history.

Through these and other activities the Nuklear LoRD Academy serves newbies, veterans, the hero industry and people everywhere who love slaying dragons.


We here at the LoRD Academy are as exemplary a group as you’ll find. When we’re not praying for bank doubles, we’re sharing 1000 gold pieces with a new dragon slayer. If we’re not snubbing that same new dragon slayer for strategic benefit, we’re up for a good time on the heart-shaped bed. And occasionally, when we just get that sharing feeling, we’ll up and suicide on a worthy foe, whether player or monster.


That’s right, the Nuklear community is as sharing and generous as the bailout programs of the US Federal Government. Silver Girl would give you the shirt off her back, or her front, and wouldn't even think of asking for dinner first.

Ram’s all about donating his experience to any given forest monster, and dies knowing he’s made the realm a better place that day, as far as he’s concerned.

And all the campers in Blue Realm save their experience for weeks, so they can help the top group of competitors make enormous leaps and bounds toward that ever-elusive fifth DK.

You should hear them in the Blue Locker Room. It‘s constantly, “OMG I’m so getting Shattered today! I can FEEL it!” “Ooh, I hope he puts on his Light Shield first! *titters*” “All right ladies, let’s go see who wants to partake of my vast experience!”


A brief note on ties and tie breakers. Ties are to be broken using the quality of votes rule: The person with more first place votes wins the tiebreaker. If still tied, the person with the most amount of second place votes breaks the tie. If still tied, the tie stands.

For all both of you geeks out there who care, there were three ties this year, all for second place. The votes for each set of ties were exact even past the 2nd place votes. STOP REVOTING, SNOWPEOPLE! YOU’RE MESSING WITH THE SYSTEM!!


Now, here the evening encountered its first glitch. It appeared that one award could not be given out, that's right, they scrapped it entirely, due to not only their primary presenter, but their backup presenter being...scarce. Let's take a look:

I know you want to get to it. You’re probably as excited as Eliim anticipating his next root canal. Therefore, with no further ado, our first award of the evening is for Favorite Forest Monster. And here to present the award is a very special guest, making a rare visit just for us. Even more rare than the Red dragon itself, please welcome: The Great Ogre of the North!

*gets message in earpiece* Really? Oh, I see. Ladies and gentlemen, we are very sorry, but it appears the Great Ogre will not be appearing tonight, due to a glitch.

(whispers to co-hosts) Who do we have instead?


The Screaming Eunich.


Yeah, about that... On second thought, ladies & gentlemen, the Favorite Forest Monster Award will not be given out this year. :D


After this rocky start, the show seemed to get off to a more even keel, with the awards being presented in smooth succession:

What’s next, then? *listens to earpiece* Oh, yes. It’s the Least Likely to Win Anything Award! It seems that it’s harder for our voters to pick someone they don’t think will win. 42 people got at least one vote, and 16 of them did win something, including this award. I guess the other 26 are the true winners here. Er. Losers.

There were three people who tied just a point out of 3rd place, for Honorable Mention: (DK) Orion, Benecia and Darksoulz, each with 8 points (2/-/-). Way to go, Losers!

In third place, with 9 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Ender! (1/2/1) Least Likely To Win Anything Third Place

In second place, with 10 points, winning the Violet Award, is Snowpeople! (2/1/-) Least Likely To Win Anything Second Place Hey Manex, we know you didn’t have this award in mind when you said “SNOWPEOPLE <------- ZOMG I will give you guys a billion dollars if they win at least second place this year.” But we think, since it did happen to fall out that way somewhere in the award ceremony, that you should pay up. You can Paypal it to Nuke Skyjumper; thanks, man. :D

And, with increasing levels of oxymoronity, in first place, with 30 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Ram! (7/-/2) Least Likely To Win Anything First Place

Now that, at least, is an EPIC Win! Interesting fact: Ram tried to vote for himself and contribute to the creation of the Oxymoronic Loophole of Destiny.
Do you think you jinxed yourself there? ;)


At this point, Electra commented that this award should just be renamed the Ram Award, and Ram himself began doing shots and dedicated his award to the masters, for their excellent contributions to his continual sucking. I'm sure you're very welcome, Ram.

Let's check out the next award they gave out:

Our next category is Most Missed MIA Poster. Nuklear LoRD is a fluid site, and people come and go here nearly as regularly as old people on prune juice, and sometimes as messily. But often we miss those who have left us, and we wish them well wherever they have gone, and hope they’ll bring new of their happiness back, and share it with us.

Among those we miss: Amadeus, Darth Kevin, Ashknuckles, Hagakure, Manex (who is, as always, vividly here), Nightmare, Zaphod, Kordex, Black Viper (also here, at least occasionally), General Grevious (definitely here, just not as much as we would like), Herb, Joe the Ghost, tikel (who has masqueraded as blah in the final weeks of Blue Realm), Vagabond, Gibreel, Jaydub, Samurai Barney, Aglaranna, Che Guevera, Silverfangs, Yaoming11, Boris the Black, Cmac, Dazhbog (has what is commonly referred to as a “life“), Dravek (but our aim has improved!), El Castrador, and Slugga Jones.

Again, a tie between two people just out of 3rd place, with 10 points each: Electra (1/2/2) and Hidden Imp (2/-/2). Electra’s been mad busy, we know, and we’ve been happy to have her around over the holiday break, and hope she swings by ever so gracefully now and again during the coming months.

Here we have one of our three ties for second place. With 12 points apiece, and each winning their very own Seth Award, are Neon (2/2/-) Most MIA Poster Second Place (People noticed when no one stole the Last Word quite as often)...

And Tymorn (2/2/-) Most MIA Poster Second Place (He IS a guy, right?) *searches pockets for discarded Genderless Award*

And in first place, with 15 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Hotshot. (3/1/1) Most MIA Poster First Place


Manex commented here that he forgot to vote in this category, and Ram drank to the absent Hotshot. Or possibly just drank, and also missed Hotshot; it's a bit unclear. TheKid, apparently having a short attention span, expressed his belief that the "commercial breaks" were "LONG"! Which brings us to ours. Don't go anywhere!

~~~~

Healer's Hut

You know the way. Just follow the blood trail. We cure everything, from surprise powermoves to VD! Always there for help with birthing, and able to restore life to any warrior with even a mere one Hit Point, Nathan and his crack team of healers are ready for every instance. Leeches, bleeding, even the occasional trepannation. Open all hours.

Healer's Hut
Town Square (next to Turgon's Training Hall), Forest

~~~~

Welcome back, everyone! The next award that was handed out was...let's take a peek at the footage:

Our next category is for Coolest Avatar. We’ve had some memorable ones over the years, but these are the ones that stand out most in our visually-oriented brains:

In third place, with 17 points, for his varied collection of personally crafted avvies, winning the Red Dragon Award, is (DK) Orion. (3/1/3) Coolest Avatar Third Place

In second place, with 24 points, for the Heavenly Sword ranga girl, winning the Violet Award, is Valkyrie. (4/4/-) Coolest Avatar Second Place

And taking the Nuke Award with 32 points, for her amazing displays of animated cats and kittens, among other hilarity, is Chilicat. (6/4/-) Coolest Avatar First Place

It seems pretty obvious that we’re all still easily swayed by bright colors and things that move.


At this point, we believe that General Grievous, in from Iraq, suffered some form of capital letter breakdown: "AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH?HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH? HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!"
It appears he was convinced that his avatar was worthy of a trophy. One too many SMITES to the head, perhaps. We'll keep you updated on his condition.

Also, it was after yet another shot at this time that Ram needed to go for his first potty break. See if you can count how many he needed, during the course of the awards.

What happened next is nothing short of shocking. See for yourselves:

All right, what the fuck is next? *checks earpiece* Oh, my bad. Sorry, apparently we can’t say “fuck” anymore. *listens again* Did I? No fucking way.

Fine. Next up is the award for
Most Awesome Signature. Apparently these are much less well known among our voters, as nearly half of them didn’t vote in this category. Either that, or they’re just too fucking lazy to look around a bit. *pauses to listen to earpiece* Oh, well fuck you very much. It won’t fucking happen again, I swear.

In third place, winning the Red Dragon Award with 15 points, is Sweetdays. (3/1/1) Most Awesome Signature Third Place Who doesn’t love a pillow fight?


It must be noted here that it took Caspian two tries to present Sweetdays with her award, due to a trophy malfunction. It does appear that she received it intact, however, and the show went on.

In second place, with 19 points, earning the Seth Award, is injektilo*, (4/1/1) who has singlehandedly made “canguru” the most popular typo of the year. Most Awesome Signature Second Place

And in first place, with a bare one point lead over injektilo* at 20 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Valkyrie. (5/-/-) Most Awesome Signature First Place It’s not just the ranga girl‘s eyes that appeal, though: Tikel said, “Having my quotes there helped here to be no.1 in my book :D” Gotta love you, Tikel. Now quit stealing the show, you Croatian Sensation!


That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Caspian said the F-word, multiple times, and DIDN'T GET PUNISHED!! It's...I have no words. Well, I have a few. Baffling? Surprising? You be the judge.

And it looks like...yes, it appears they ditched yet another category, here, Best LoRD Typo was not given out after all. All these last minute issues. It's a wonder anything was handed out successfully. Let's see what happened with the next award:

Moving on, it’s now time for the Most Skilled Flamer award. More than one voter commented that while there may be flamers, they aren’t actually skilled., and one stated outright, “I reject the assumption that flaming is a skill.”

There were so many people who got votes here that we ended up with four, count ‘em four, Honorable Mentions. Shadowcaster (1/2/-) and Darksoulz (1/2/-) with 8 points each and Amadeus (1/2/1) and Ram (2/-/1) with 9 points each.

And squeaking into third place, with a mere point more at 10 points, earning the Red Dragon Award, is TheKid. (1/2/2) Most Skilled Flamer Third Place Not bad for a guy who just became legal behind the wheel.

In second place, with 11 points, winning the hearts and minds of many, as well as the Seth Award, is our friend with a thousand faces, Dravek. (2/1/1) Most Skilled Flamer Second Place

And blowing the competition away with his Chaotic Neutral attitude toward life, the Universe, and endangered African fish, winning the Nuke Award with 37 points, is that perennial favorite, Manex. (8/2/1) Most Skilled Flamer First Place


It appears that here there was a discussion among the audience about "switching to white". I'm surprised no one hollered "RACIST" or "MICHAEL JACKSON WANNABES!" at this point, but it seems all was explained and things calmed down.

Except for Ram talking about himself in the third person.

The next category was of a...delicate nature. Let's see how Aragorn handled it:



Well, it is true what they say, nothing follows a good argument like good sex.


:O Hey! Keep that sort of thing to a whisper!

(whispers) Let’s see who won Lay King and Queen this year, shall we? Rawr! Ladies first:

In third place, with 19 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is louisfemme. (1/6/3) Lay Queen Third Place Everyone loves a good tumble down under.

Second place, with 28 points, winning her the Violet Award, goes to Princess Tomato.(3/7/2) Lay Queen Second Place And that, boys and girls, is where babies come from.

In first place, with a shtupping 84 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Silver Girl! (19/2/4) Lay Queen First Place

Thank you all, ladies; you’re a credit to your kind.

As for the Lay Kings, well, let’s just see:

In third place, with 11 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Neon. (-/5/1) Lay King Third Place Hopefully now that you have a round win under your belt...you’ll stop being everyone’s second fiddle.

In second place, with 19 votes, winning the Seth Award, is (DK) Orion. (3/3/1) Lay King Second Place Handle with care, ladies, he’s hott!

And in first place, with the red hottness that earned him 42 throbbing points and the Nuke Award, is blah! (9/3/-) Lay King First Place

Although apparently it’s not how you do it, but where, that matters sometimes: LadyLord prefers the lays that happen in Green. “Yes, I went by realm. Green, then blue, and finally red.”

I guess Special must be populated by a bunch of celibate, duel-killing nuns and monks.



As Paris Hilton says, "That's hott."

At this point, the emcees were made aware that Ender was heading out for some drunk driving, prompting Aragorn to say: "We at the awards academy do not condone drunk driving. Please stay safe all." So far, we have no word on whether Ender or his car have been recovered. We'll keep you informed.

We'll continue with this wrap-up coverage of the 3rd Annual Nuklear Awards after this message.

~~~~

Gambling!

Come on out to the Dark Cloak Tavern, where the ale is cold and the gambling is hot! Recent regulations may have limited your gambling opportunities, but your chances to win remain the same! Come look for the Old Man, always seen carving on a table top, and get started! Remember, No Risk, No Reward! (wooden teeth optional)

Dark Cloak Tavern

~~~~

Welcome back! Let's take a look at the next award. It seems that, despite an unfortunate setback, Atsuko decided to play it safe...

Well Most Effective Modmin is up next. We‘ve invited a special guest-- *listens to earpiece* What do you mean, our presenter got banned? Fu--er, sh--um...gosh darn it! :D Is there such a thing as moderation in moderation? Let’s find out!

Honorable Mention goes to Chilicat, who tied with the 3rd place winner for 30 points, but was bested by having fewer first place votes. (4/5/4)

In third place, with a completely different set of 30 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is The Mystical One. (5/3/4) Most Effective Modmin Third Place

Second place goes to the man with 35 points and the Seth Award: it’s Einherjar. (4/8/3) Most Effective Modmin Second Place

And in first place, with 43 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Sir FineButtocks! (7/6/3) Because a modmin against moderation isn’t a bug, it’s a feature! Most Effective Modmin First Place


The next award gave us interesting results due to the widespread nature of the votes:

For our Favorite Subforum award, the choices were narrowed down to a relatively predictable set of winners, yet every single subforum received at least one vote. Let’s see if anyone is surprised:

In third place, with 18 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Green Realm. (3/2/2)

In second place, with 47 points, winning the Seth/Violet Award, is Forum Games. (7/9/1) Because guessing a subforum’s gender would probably fall into this subforum.

And in first place, with 59 points and the Nuke Award, is Completely Off Topic. (11/6/3)

Our first and second place winners are the same as last year. Random fact: Strategy came in fourth for the second year in a row, after it clawed its way out of 5th the first year.

And apparently not all votes were cast in seriousness.


We had a vote for “Whichever colored realm I'm in. For always being the deadest.”


At this point, Darius SongBlade and Aragorn exchanged gang signs. We'll keep an eye on this man and see if he seems to be getting by the master any easier than others. Our special investigative team is on the story.

And Ram felt the need to declare another bathroom break.

Let's see what controversial subjects came up in the next award:

All right, let’s move on to the Best. Thread. Ever. Award. See if we can’t sew this one up neatly. Some of the suggestions we received were: “The Banned List by tmo“ , “Dazhbog is a Big Fat Liberal Ideologue (Off Topic collected works)” and Tikel, dear Tikel, voted for his very own Greatest Spelling errors! “(Even though that I oppend that topic, it wasn't my original idea and I really enjoyed it).”

Let’s see who won.

There was a four way tie for Honorable Mention, with 8 points apiece among Black Viper’s Treasure Hunt (2/-/-), Tikel’s Useful Strategy Topics (2/-/-), RodeoJoe1’s Group Story Redux (2/-/-), and Jaydub’s Rant Thread (1/1/2).

In third place, with 13 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is LadyLord, for her Good News Thread. (2/2/1) Best. Thread. Ever. Third Place

In second place, with 13 points also, breaking the tie with an extra first place vote and earning the Seth Award, is Manex, for his spicy hit, Things I Learned In Nuklear Chat. (3/-/1) Best. Thread. Ever. Second Place

And in first place, with 26 points, earning the Nuke Award, is Mrs. tmo, for her Methuselah of a thread, The Last Word! (6/1/-) Best. Thread. Ever. First Place A perennial winner so far, this thread has maintained its massive first-place popularity for two years in a row.


Unfortunately, Aragorn completely forgot to hand out the actual trophies to the winners! "Sorry guys, I missed the trophies!" he lamented, and quickly rectified the situation. We wonder at the level of incompetence our emcees were displaying...let's see what else happens:


Next it is, then. Favorite Realm is our next category. There were only four choices: who got shut out? And is there any meaning behind the fact that tmo did not currently vote for Green Realm, for any of the spots? ZOMG I said “currently”! He‘s gonna close it!! *runs around in panicked circles*

*slaps co-host* Snap out of it.

Whoa, mate, wrong co-host!

Sorry, my bad. *slaps other co-host*


Such violence! We have to wonder, is this how the masters toughen themselves up to take on warriors? Their training methods are ever a mystery...Let's see how it went from here:

Whew, thanks. Moving forward, then. In third place, with 36 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Red Realm, (3/7/10) last, dramatic holdout of this current round.


Of course, everyone knows now that twenty minutes after Nuklear Midnight, Red Realm had crowned its new King, Einherjar. Again.

In second place, with 54 points, winning the hermaphroditic Seth/Violet Award, is Blue Realm. (8/8/6)

And in first place, beloved by most and tolerated by all, with 64 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Green Realm. (14/3/2)

Special (5/5/2) received more first place votes than Red did, but it seemed that even most of the Blue Realmers would rather vote for Red than for Special. And that’s saying something.


Here it appears that Aragorn lost his head and gave the Green Realm trophy to TheKid, who ran around showing it off for the rest of the evening. We're still trying to track him down, and Aragorn has been held for questioning by the Nuklear Task Force.

And now to a great category, Greatest Site Contributor. Some of you took this category very seriously. One voter took particular care with her vote, declaring “why is this voting thing stressing me out so much??! I don't want to be unfair!!!!”

Some of us give a lot to this community, and this award is about recognizing those people who’ve most notably been a benefit to the site in the last year.

Honorable Mention goes to Sir Finebuttocks with 10 points. (-/3/4)

In third place, with 11 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, we have Dazhbog. (-/4/3) Greatest Site Contributor Third Place A true Renaissance Man, Dazh has something germane to say about a great many topics.

In second place, with 50 points, winning the Violet Award, we have Valkyrie. (9/5/4) Greatest Site Contributor Second Place Val put her writing skills to work on the Nuklear Wiki Project, and is online or in chat a bit more than is healthy. Way to sacrifice for LoRD, Val!

In first place, with a whopping 70 points, winning him the Nuke Award, we have injektilo*! (16/3/-) Greatest Site Contributor First Place For being friendly, helpful, spearheading the Nuklear Wiki Project and being fair and level-headed enough to be promoted to mod, among your other awesome contributions, tilo, we salute you!


Ram excused himself for another potty break after taking one more shot, and injektilo was praised highly for his site contributions by much of the audience. Even Aragorn declared him "awesome".

The next category and following commentary seemed to suggest there's some secret, Borglike ritual that meant newcomers were now to be known as veterans...see what you think!

*rubs hands* I’m so excited. Our next award, Neatest Newcomer, is in honor of the new members who have survived the occasional poke from those pretentious elitist veterans of the game, and have made a home for themselves among us, contributing their perspectives and personality to our thriving community, and being assimilated as true Borg. I mean LoRDsters. *adjusts Borglike earpiece*

A couple of people decided to vote for injektilo* anyway, which proves his value to the community knows no boundaries, rules or calendar dates. Let’s see which votes actually counted!

In third place, with 26 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, it’s Stargazer (4/4/2), whose gardening prowess and willingness to share her first fruits--or at least the second fruits--made us drool last summer as the harvests came in. Neatest Newcomer Third Place

In second place, with 36 points, winning the Seth Award, is General Grievous. (6/3/6) Neatest Newcomer Second Place You gotta love a ranga with a big-ass gun and a soft spot in his heart for a good Puro.

And in first place, with 50 points, winning the Nuke Award, we have Sweetdays! (9/6/2) Neatest Newcomer First Place Sweet, sassy, with her love of Twilight, Harry Potter, and all things redheaded, she quickly became the darling of the chatroom.

We’re glad to have all of our winners, as well as all the other newcomers, with us. Fresh players and perspectives keep our community vibrant, and we hope all our newcomers’ participation continues to blend well in the melting pot that is Nuklear LoRD.


At this point it seems that a drunken Ram threw ten hearts at Sweetdays, who only returned one of them, and Atsuko commented, "waits for the Deutsch", which Ram obliged moments later by saying, "actually right now, ich habe keine idee!!!"

Let's see what happened next!

All right, another new award is next: Master’s Pet. This award, inspired by Fury, is to honor, or at least curse the luck of, the people who seem to slip past even the toughest masters with little trouble. Do they pass bribes? Get Violet to slip something into their drinks? It can’t ALL be luck, can it?? Let’s see who our winners are, and maybe then they’ll share their tactics.

In third place, with 20 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is blah. (4/2/-) Masters Pet Third Place I hear Gandalf is a sucker for redheads.

In second place, with 22 points, winning the Seth Award, is Ram. (2/6/2) Funny, I also hear the same thing about Turgon.Masters Pet Second Place

And in first place, with a Master-pwning 37 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Einherjar! (7/3/3) Masters Pet First Place Well, he’s not a redhead...how does he DO it?? Maybe he’ll share...after he retires.

One of the votes we received read:
“First place – The Chosen One, Mr Victory - EIN
<Big F’ing GAP>
Second Place - Val”
Dear Voter: You DO know that trying to separate Ein from Val is pretty pointless, right? They live in the same house. ;)


At this point, Seth Able himself was scheduled to come on stage. Things didn't exactly go according to plan, though:

All right folks, it’s time for our musical entertainment section. Seth Able the Bard has agreed to join us, and we’re really in for a treat! He’s written a new song! *listens to earpiece*

What do you mean, he’s throwing a bigger fit than Nathan Lane in the opening scene of The Birdcage?? What a prima donna! *listens more* The green M&M’s are fine, but he can’t have tmo feed them to him. The man’s busy, and that’s final.

All right, folks, it seems our entertainment is deep into histrionics backstage. Let’s just take an intermisison for 8 or 10 minutes. Get up, stretch, grab some food, and come on back for the second half!


We're not sure what set Seth off, but it might be the fact that he's currently not getting any attention at all, as all the realms are currently closed. Ladies, we ask that you be sure to soothe the bard's hurt feelings with your attentions, and everyone, please keep asking him to play for you. The Inn just won't be the same without Seth!

And on that note, we take our Intermission Commercial Break.

~~~~
User avatar
injektilo
Wizard of Aus
Wizard of Aus
 
Posts: 6006
Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2007 2:16 am
Location: Victoria, Australia

The 3rd Annual Nuklear Awards Ceremony Part 2

Postby injektilo on Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:20 pm

And we're back from intermission!

The Inn at the Town Square

Come one, come all, to the Inn at the Town Square! Here you'll find entertainment, comfort, and engaging companionship. Rooms are available for a mere 400 gp/level, or free, if you can successfully charm the bartender!
Drinks are on the house, served by the sweet, saucy Violet, who, gents, is now free of matrimonial bonds yet again!
Our own Seth Able the bard has a lovely collection of classic songs available upon request. You never know what might happen when you listen to one of these beauties. Sometimes his music is downright magical! And ladies, he's also free for the taking, though you'll have to work extra hard to catch his eye on a matrimonial basis, because Mr. Robinson is a sexist pig!
And the bartender is an understanding sort. If you need to borrow one of his heart-shaped beds for a quick tumble, he doesn't even charge you a dime, and if someone in one of his rooms has something you desperately need, he'll not say no to a bit of gold greasing his palm.
That's right, the Inn at the Town Square has everything you want, and even some things you need! Drop on by today!

Town Square - it's THE landmark!

~~~~

Apparently, during the break, Secret bemoaned the lack of consideration for civil rights, undoubtedly in reference to the "all white" dress code for the award ceremony, TheKid broke out a flamethrower and wished for dancing girls, Stargazer obliged him, Atsuko posted the current cricket score, General Grievous came back and then left to finish his cigar again, Ram took another pee break, Darius disappeared entirely, abandoning Sweetdays, and she surrounded herself with two rangas: Ram and Stargazer, to cheer her up.

Let's see what happened right after the break:

Welcome back, everyone! I see some of you have fallen asleep in your chairs. That’s all right; if you win something, we’ll just draw a picture of it on your skin somewhere. *wields markers*

Zooming right along, our next category is for
Most Useless Bard Song. The only song that did not receive at least one first place vote was Two More Forest Fights. Who out there hates the Magic Song?? Although, I’ve actually been disappointed to get Magic before. That’s the beauty of LoRD: circumstances change from day to day.

In third place, with 28 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is the Charm Point Song. (2/7/6) But is this result from the female characters who hate it, or the male characters who are uncharmingly jealous?

In second place, with 28 points also (two more first place votes than the third place winner), winning the Seth/Violet Award, is +1 Hit Point. (4/5/2)

And in first place, with 52 points, winning the Nuke Award for extreme uselessness, is Hit Points Maxed Out! (11/3/2)

Yes, Seth Able, we love you dearly, but sometimes your songs really suck. But keep your chin up; at least we keep asking you to sing.


It appears that there might be hope for Seth Able after all, and thus, for the Realms.

Little break happened here, no doubt due to some emcee's total incompetence. We wonder how they got this job. Oh, that's right: they gave it to themselves. Elitist? Nepotistic? We just report it, albeit with as much sensationalism and slant as we can muster. Fair and balanced? That's Fox. Well, that's their claim anyway.

Let's move on, and see what happened with a new category this year:

Next we have another new category for this year: Favorite Nuklear Chatster. The new chat has proven itself more accessible with its “Join X players in live chat” link, and at many times more than ten people have filled the chatroom, creating a lively, hilarious atmosphere that makes time fly by.

Unless half of them are lurking! Maybe that’s what prompted one voter to vote for “my own boredom” See what you’ve started, Stargazer? Every time someone lurks, it’s a silent homage to your multitasking awesominity. :D The Lurkmonster LIIIIIIIVES!!

In third place, with 18 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, we have louisfemme. (2/5/-) Favorite Chatster Third Place I think she got extra points for being able to phonetically spell out her accent in chat! Carn youse Nuklear chatterz. 'arden up ya packa drongos!

In second place, with 24 points, winning the Seth Award, we have Sir FineButtocks. (3/5/2) Favorite Chatster Second Place Someone commented that Sir FB “would tie for first if he was more sexy”. Bummer, FB. Maybe if you wiggled your hips a bit more.

And in first place, chatting up a storm with 41 points and winning the Nuke Award, we have Valkyrie (9/1/3), the mom of the chatroom. Favorite Chatster First Place Though she’s been around for nearly four years now, only in the last ten months has she become better acquainted with many of you through chat.

Thanks to all of you for making chat a fun and friendly place; we look forward to chatting with you soon!

*listens to earpiece* Oh, right...we are in chat. My bad.


Again, a critical error by Aragorn...does he have Arby's on his mind?

Ram happily declared that Valkyrie will always be his chat mom, and Aragorn commented, perhaps to distract from his previous mistake, that "It wouldn't be a chat award without the lurk monster!"

So, segueing over to Luckiest Player in Spite of Themselves. It’s generally agreed that to win, or at least stay consistently competitive, one needs both luck and skill in the game. Who did voters see as more lucky than skilled? Let’s see:

Honorable Mention goes to Neon, with 14 points (2/3/-). Maybe your recent win in Blue will change things up for next year, Neon. Or, not.

In third place, with 16 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Magneto81 (3/2/-). Luckiest Player Third Place Although, he did pwn a bunch of us with those two wins in a row right off the bat.

In second place, with 22 points, winning the Seth Award, is Einherjar (3/3/4). Luckiest Player Second Place He’ll be the first to admit that some of his 5 wins in a row were blatantly lucky there at the end.

And in first place, with 29 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Ram!(5/4/1). Luckiest Player First Place I think he’s willing it, if you can believe such things. Alas, he couldn't quite will a win in Green this round!

Congratula-ma-frigging-lations, you lucky bastards.


Aragorn expressed disbelief at the results of this category, making us question whether these awards are on the up-and-up, while Ender commented that he didn't believe Ram was lucky at all, and the winner himself commented, "hahaah I have the best luck with EVERYTHING but the masters...and staying sober."

Should we post this in Things I Learned in Nuklear Chat? We'll do that as soon as we enroll this poor fellow in rehab. Here at Entertainment Midnight, we see this among the top players all too often. Just last round Electra overdosed on the new drug commonly known as "Studying", but we managed to help her regain her equilibrium. See, there's hope!

Let's look at the next category, this year's flash award:

And now, our annual flash award, Best Redheaded Player (Endangered Ranga Award). It looks like some of you didn’t take this award seriously, and that’s good, because we didn’t either!

This award reflects most vividly the fluid nature of the atmosphere at the Nuklear site, and is a tribute to that as well as to our endangered rangas, whom we should probably round up and enter into a breeding program to ensure their survival--*listens to earpiece* No? Why? *listens again* Oh, yes, I see that now.

On to the winners!

Honorable Mentions go out to Stargazer (1/5/4) with 18 Titian points, and General Grievous with 15 auburn points (-/5/5).

In third place, with 19 coppery points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Ram (3/3/1). Endangered Ranga Third Place

In second place, with 35 clearly red-dyed points, winning the Seth Award, is a surprise contestant, Sir FineButtocks (8/-/3). Endangered Ranga Second Place The Puppetmaster approves of this good-natured hijacking. :D

And in first place, with a russet-hued 50 points, winning the Nuke Award, is our own blahsome ranga: blah! (11/2/2). Endangered Ranga First Place Securing a vote from even his rival Grievous (“First place - Blah, curse him”), blah is a friendly, living testament to the awesomeness that mutant genes can bestow.


Shocking, purely shocking! Caspian's suggestion that the redheads breed was totally out of line. Such unprofessionalism! Or course, that's not to imply the rangas aren't hott. Because they are! Er...any objections to...letting nature take its course?

Also, who let Sir FB win an award in this category? Are all votes taken, regardless of validity?? Who would do such a thing as to disrupt an honest voting system like this?

While we consider those implications, let's check out another new award for this year:

Nuklear LoRD is an international community. We have members here from several different countries, and their cultures and humor make excellent spice in the melting pot that is the Pennsylvania-based LoRD. Let’s take a look at our Most Exotic Player winners, and see who spices up our community the most!

In third place, with 19 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is injektilo* (1/7/1). Most Exotic Player Third Place For most of us, Australia is indeed exotic, especially with injektilo*’s confirmation that it is indeed a place where cangurus live only!

In second place, with 26 points, winning the Violet Award, is louisfemme (3/4/6). Most Exotic Player Second Place Because New South Wales is far more exotic than Victoria!

And in first place, with 64 points, blowing the continountland of Australia out of the water and winning the Nuke Award, is Tikel! (14/4/-). Most Exotic Player First Place His improving, yet still humorous, grasp of the English language surely has impressed his exoticness upon us all. We’re glad you’re here, Dragon Tickler.


Continountland? Really? Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's not actually a word. The lengths to which these emcee masters are going seems to be getting more and more extreme. I'm beginning to doubt if they'll be asked back next year. Or if others will let them volunteer themselves again, rather.

Also, they seem to be creating new categories left and right! Who said that was allowed? Oh, yes, I suppose they might have strongarmed The Mystical One into agreeing against his will, some form of blackmail, no doubt. Let's see what happened in the next category:

Another new category this year is Hottest Player Pic: an effort to draw attention to this little-noticed section of our site. It succeeded; most people managed to find the link and/or vote. But for whom? Amazingly, Valkyrie, Neon, Eliim, and injektilo*, who don’t even have pictures on that page, also received votes. STOP IT, YOU STALKERS!!

Let’s see who garnered the most appreciation for their physical appearance and choice of posted photo:

In third place, with 15 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Sweetdays (2/2/3). Hottest Player Pic Third Place Hubba hubba!

In second place, with one more at 16 points, winning the Seth Award, is blah (3/2/-). Hottest Player Pic Second Place *wolf whistles*

And in first place, with 19 points, winning the Nuke Award, is that saucy red fruit herself, Princess Tomato! (3/3/1). Hottest Player Pic First Place RAWR!!

Votes for this category were spread all over the place. Manex attempted to vote for himself in all three slots, demonstrating a strong affection for...himself. One of the girls in a Dragoon pic got a vote, as did “LF’s friend… (The one with the tongue…)”.

What a wide and wonderful range of preferences we LoRDsters have! Thanks to all of you who share your pics with our community.


It appears Caspian has sunk, in this recent clip, to ogling the winners. Really, where have his manners gone? Although, from the commentary from General Grievous, Ram, and Eliim, he wasn't alone.

And it seems even the emcees are ready for things to be wrapped up:

Only seven more categories remain! Next up is the award for Most Arrogant Player. Those who play well--or at least think they do--sometimes express sentiments that simply seem factual to them, while others wholeheartedly disagree, labeling them as arrogant (or worse: elitist! :O)

Let’s see who can claim the title of Most Arrogant this year:

We have an Honorable Mention for this award as well: with 17 points, it goes to (DK) Orion (3/2/1).

In third place, with 17 points as well, but with one more first place vote to break the tie, winning the Red Dragon Award, it’s Amadeus (4/-/1). Most Arrogant Third Place Even though he doesn’t stop by and visit as often as we’d like anymore, the memories of his supreme confidence are still with several of us. “Etch it in stone,” one voter commented.

In second place, with 20 points, winning the Seth Award, we have Einherjar (4/2/-). Most Arrogant Second Place Only second? When was the last time that happened?? Although, I suppose it’s not truly arrogance if you can back it up. Tune in at Nuklear Midnight to see if the saga of Red Realm will be ended tonight, and by whom!

And in first place, with 29 points, winning the Nuke Award and smugly rubbing it in all of our faces, is Ram! (5/4/1). Most Arrogant First Place But, with 43 Dragon Kills as a lifetime achievement and six placings in the Top Five, surely, he expected no less. Or DID he?? He did vote for himself in least likely to win anything...Ram, you oxymoron!


Devolving into subtle insults! I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not sure I can sit idly by without comment on this sort of thing. Surely someone needs to stand up for the little guy, who seems to win every third award? While we ponder that, let's take another commercial break.

~~~~

King Arthur's Weapons

You want to get ahead in this world? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. You gotta carve your own way. And we can help. King Arthur wasn't some prissy king who talked his way to victory. No, he was a man who carved his success from his enemy's bones! And he did it with the finest weapons available.
You can possess those weapons as well. Our dedication to quality and workmanship is unmatched, and we have a 50% refund guarantee if you're not satisfied.
You want to own the killing fields? Let us hammer your ploughshare into the deadliest sword you've ever seen.

King Arthur's Weapons
Town Square, between Abdul's Armor and the Healer's Hut

~~~~

Welcome back, everyone, and thanks again for staying with us through this much of the 3rd Annual Nuklear Awards! It seems the emcees are ready for a return to basics, if you will. Let's listen in and see how it goes:

Yes, thank you. Let’s move on now to an award that’s been around since the beginning: the award for Nicest Player. Cookies all around, everyone, and let’s see who we voted for this year! *has event staff distribute warm, homemade cookies to audience*

An Honorable Mention goes out to Chilicat this year, with 19 points (3/3/1).

Next, in third place, with one point more at 20, winning the Red Dragon Award AGAIN, is LadyLord (3/3/2). Nicest Player Third Place Consistently nice, consistently third, she’s one of only two players who’ve placed in the same ginger-snap-giving spot in the same award all three years.

In second place, with 27 points, winning the Violet Award, is Valkyrie (5/2/3). Nicest Player Second Place Looks like it’s her turn to take over this second place spot for the next year and be in charge of the chocolate-chunk cookies. Now that IS nice!

Because, that’s right, in first place, with 34 points, winning the Nuke Award for the third year in a row, is our own cookie-distributing Electra! (6/5/-). Nicest Player First Place Her unswerving, peanut-butter politeness and determined, macaroon civility are a Timtam asset to the LoRD community.


Oh, I say! This is more familiar territory. In fact, it's terribly pleasing to see that two of these award winners have never EVER changed. I don't seem to have much information on that middle winner, though. It seems she's only recently come into the public eye...it could all be a facade. We'll send a special investigative team to look into that as well.

It seemed to be the general consensus among members of the audience that "nicenessappears to be a female trait." Icey, Ram, General Grievous, and TheKid certainly agreed, and applauded Electra's win.

Oh, dear. Here comes yet another new award. Where do they think these up?

Our next category is yet another fresh face this year, the Player with the Dirtiest Mind award. Props to Shadowcaster for the idea, spawned, as so many excellent ideas are, after a hilarious chat episode. We all know those among us who have the ability to break out into naughty hilarity. Who did we think has the best (or...worst?) skills at twisting the conversation to the dirty side?

Honorable Mention finds its way to Sir FineButtocks, with 14 points (1/3/4) for this award. To spoof Smuckers, with a name like that, he’s gotta be good.

In third place, also with 14 points (but two more first place votes), winning the Red Dragon Award, is TheKid (3/1/-). Dirtiest Mind Third Place The best thing for dirty kids? A bath. ;)

In second place, with 25 points, winning the Seth Award and doing the bard proud, is Shadowcaster (4/4/1). Dirtiest Mind Second Place Even his shadow is dirty! :D

And in first place, with 37 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Sweetdays (8/1/3). Dirtiest Mind First Place Yep, it’s official! Half the people who voted in this category wrote Sweetdays down somewhere on their list. That's quite an impression! :D

Manex, mate...*shakes head* You’re just going to have to try harder this year.


Does it strike anyone else as poor planning to let Shadowcaster be in charge of new award ideas? Yes, I thought it might. It could have been worse, though. It might have been called the "Best Winterbells Player" award...

I'm afraid the gold-plated handcuffs will have to be delivered separately to our winner.

Let's see what they have come up with next:

All right, next up is the Purple Monchichi award, which used to be the Grue award, and the Happy Ninja award before that. Since no one knew what those meant, we decided to update the name to something that clearly implied the characteristics we were looking for in the vote recipients.

Truthfully, the Purple Monchichi award needs no explanation, because it HAS no explanation. It’ s the award that means what you think it means, unlike the word “inconceivable”. So let’s see how many of you were thinking the same thing, and what that same thing was, anyway:

Another Honorable Mention for Sir FineButtocks here, for his 10 points (1/2/2).

We had a tie for second place in this award as well, where our two second-place winners also had 10 points each, but with one more first place vote apiece. Sharing the distinction of winning the Seth Award in this category this year are: The Mystical One (2/1/-)... Purple Monchichi Second Place

And Ugly Duckling (2/1/-). Purple Monchichi Second Place Way to be level 3 fugitives running amok on level 12! Or...something...

And in first place, with 17 points, winning the Nuke Award, is CarpeDiem (4/-/1). Purple Monchichi First Place Congratulations, CarpeDiem. Let this award mean whatever you want it to!


Aragorn commented, "The strange thing about this award? Carpediem got twice the 1st place votes of anyone else!" Now, if you ask me, that's not strange. What's strange is that it sounded like the emcees don't even know what they're giving out. I'm not sure that the thin excuse of "let it mean what you like" will fly for very long. I bet that trophy's photoshopped too.

That brings us to our penultimate award, for Most Skilled Player. The players we think of when this category comes up are the ones who get asked which realm they’re going to join, and everyone scrambles to avoid that realm.

Sometimes these titans of LoRD match up in the same realm for epic battles of supremacy. In other rounds, they spread themselves across the realms more evenly, making the rest of the players lower their expectations to “I just want to get into the top five!”

Apparently trying to think of the best player ever becomes harder with time...one of the longest members of this site said, “I feel like I'm forgetting someone obvious. Argh! You? blah? people are blending together.”


Yes, you forgot to vote for me. *waves hand*

For Most Arrogant, maybe. *rolls eyes*

Well, let’s see who we all want to avoid, or challenge ourselves against, most!

In third place, with 13 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Ram (2/2/1). Most Skilled Player Third Place Don't worry, Ram, you'll get that elusive win soon!

In second place, with 24 points, winning the Seth Award, is The Mystical One (1/10/-). Most Skilled Player Second Place It looks like some players still vividly recall the days of tmo handing us all our butts.

And in first place, with a massive 84 points, winning the Nuke Award by the largest margin this year, is the inimitable Einherjar! (21/-/-). Most Skilled Player First Place With a record-setting win streak of 5 rounds in a row, including a Triple Crown, Einherjar’s LoRD skills are acknowledged by friends and rivals alike.

That begs the question: who did the winner vote for? Let‘s take a look: “First place - Tikel - actually second best, but rules are rules.” And he only placed 2nd in the Arrogant category! 8o

Another vote read:
“First place - Ein
<Big F’ing GAP>
Second place - Valkyrie”
That’s the second time the SAME VOTER has tried to separate Ein and Val. I assure you, their marriage is perfectly legal. Honest! *shows copy of marriage certificate* Weirdo...



Ram needed this opportunity for yet another potty break, prompting Atsuko to comment, "and the award for most potty breaks goes to...RAM!!" If making fun of the man's bladder issues on what might well be the best night of his life isn't insensitive, I don't know what is. And he calls himself a master! It's inexcusable.

Aragorn and TheKid commiserated that the voting had been so fickle as to ignore players who had won multiple rounds, and robots were suggested to complete the votes next year.

Doesn't that rather defeat the point?

Well, thank the stars, it seems this travesty of an awards ceremony is nearly over. Let's take a look at how the final few trophies were handed out.

Annnnnyway. We’ve arrived at the final category, Favorite Nuklear Member, separated into the Male and Female sub-categories. Here is the most blatant of our popularity contests, where we vote for our friends and are glad of their company! Let’s see who we decided we enjoy the most.

For Favorite Male Nuklear Member:

We have an Honorable Mention for Tikel, for his 14 points (3/1/-). A great player, and a friendly Croatian, he’s a delightful member of our community.

And in our last tie for second place, with 21 points apiece, winning the Seth Award concurrently, we have both Sir FineButtocks (3/3/3), Favorite Male Nuklear Member Second Place a long time member of the site, whose free spirit categorically refuses to be limited in any way, and...

injektilo*! (3/3/3) Favorite Male Nuklear Member Second Place A fantastic new addition to the LoRD site, who has thrown himself into the fundraiser, the wiki project, the forums, chat and the game itself, tilo is truly the Wizard of Aus.

And in first place, with 26 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Mister Blahsome himself, blah! (6/1/-). Favorite Male Nuklear Member First Place A hilarious Canadian who regales us with stories of his international adventures (and should pony up with another good one any day now) and is completely addicted to his motorbikes and his hockey games, blah is an easygoing chatster and competitive player...when he’s not off getting lost in tropical jungles and trading his hat for ferry rides back to civilization!

Not everyone felt able to vote in this category, though: Ein, in response to this line from the ballot “We all want to be him, or to be with him!” commented: “Had this been presented a bit less sexual, I would have voted Dazhbog - injektilo* - Logos. But instead I'll pass. Can't have the wife thinking I want to be WITH Dazh/tilo/Logos.”

Our favorite General also commented, as reason for his abstaining: “Grievous doesn't roll that way.”


Is it mere favoritism? Or worse, elitism? Let's see what happens with the women's votes:

Let’s hand out our final set of awards for the night, then: those for Favorite Female Nuklear Member.

In third place, with 20 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Sweetdays (4/-/4). Favorite Female Nuklear Member Third Place A scintillating newcomer to the Nuklear Site, she’s often found in chat or in the forums, and is friendly and easy to talk to.

In second place, with 23 points, winning the Violet Award, is louisfemme (3/5/1). Favorite Female Nuklear Member Second Place Dedicated to her zoo volunteering, happy owner of her bird Beaker, and liberal user of capital letters in chat, louisfemme brings a boatload of Aussie spice to our lives.

And in first place, with 47 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Valkyrie (10/3/1). Favorite Female Nuklear Member First Place So anonymous last year, she didn’t win anything last year. Now she’s popular as, broo. A surrogate chat mom who is patient with noobs who want to know when the realms reopen, a competitive player (when she’s not supercamping), and wiki contributor, Val is an all-around friendly, knowledgeable lady.


Overall, I have to admit, I can't tell if this award ceremony was an improvement over last year or not. It seems a bit of a tossup between elitism and favoritism. But in true Entertainment Midnight fashion, we'll let you decide! Call our toll free number right now, 1-888-NUKLEAR, and tell us what you think of these votes. Fair? Unfair? Totally faked?

Well, that's all from our studio for tonight. Thanks again for tuning in to the Nuke channel for our wrap-up of the 3rd Annual Nuklear Awards. We'll see you again next year!

~~~~

Olivia's Cave of Wonders


Down in the dumps? Need some special bonding time? Mistress Olivia knows how you feel. Seek out her deep cave, mysterious in its delights, and find your spirits lifted by her gentle ministrations, or take a hairbrush in hand and minister to her yourself! There is no judging nor rejecting in Olivia's Cave of Wonders. (Olivia reserves the right to refuse service to those customers in possession of a fairy, however)
Olivia's psychic powers are known the world over for their accuracy in predicting where captured princes and princesses can be found. Her skills have served even the local police in missing persons cases. Avail yourself of her amazing prowess, and seek your fortune!

Olivia's Cave of Wonders
Forest

~~~~



Credits:
Presenters: Einherjar, injektilo*, Valkyrie
Head writer: Valkyrie
Writing contributors: Fury, injektilo*, LadyLord, Einherjar
Graphic Design: (DK) Orion, injektilo*
User avatar
injektilo
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Location: Victoria, Australia

Re:

Postby Electra on Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:47 pm

Fourth Annual Nuklear Awards
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(It should be noted that no one was actually interviewed for this, so please bear in mind that everything is entirely fictional and meant in good fun. This is a collaboration by Valkyrie and myself with help from injektilo*. I would like to thank both of them for all of their hard work and patience on this project and making it happen. They've both been wonderful throughout the whole thing, and they're absolute delights to work with. Val and Tillyho!, you are fantastic. Thank you both for all you do for this community. To everyone else: sorry it took so long. I hope the wait is worth it.)



The Inn bustles with an unusually large evening crowd. Sandtiger and Aladdin are standing on chairs, hanging an enormous white sheet from a rafter near one wall. Atsuko shrilly directs them to shift it to the left. "No, your other left, you idiots!" she harps.

All the denizens of the LoRD realm have gathered here tonight; the bar is so busy that Grizelda has been pressed into service alongside Violet, who slips lithely through the crowd with three ales in each hand. Grizelda carries one at a time, and when she puts it down in front of Nathan the Healer, he sees that she's drunk an inch off the top. He grimaces and pushes it across the table with a single finger.

Halder and Barak sit with Olivia, whom the blackjack dwarf brought in with him. The dwarf props Olivia's stump up on the edge of the peanut bowl so she can see the sheet better.

Nolmar and Teesha flit near one of the lanterns, squeaking to each other in order to be heard, and running commentary on the human crowd below them.

"That Violet has the most impressive...er...hand strength," Nolmar says, gazing down longingly at the barmaid's cleavage.

Teesha slaps him upside the head, and he drops fairy dust onto an Evil Wood Nymph who has sneaked inside and is twisting the wood of Gandalf's chair. She levitates, then looks around to learn why. Upon spotting the two fighting fairies, she gets a wicked grin and zooms up after them. They scatter, screeching in mock fright, and punch two holes through the massive white sheet.

Aragorn and Sparhawk have seated themselves with the chess players, and at the table next to them, the holls are sitting with the prince and princess, and bragging about how many players they catch. The young royals look quite jealous, especially the virgin prince.

"Violet!" the bartender shouts. "You bleached that sheet good after last night, didn't you?"

"Yes, you old coot, it's clean," the barmaid retorts. "Though only a few players are charming enough for that sort of thing yet."

"I'm charming enough," a smooth voice says in her ear, and a golden rose appears before her. Seth Able has arrived, toting his ever-present mandolin.

Violet gives him a coy look and bites the thornless rose stem in her teeth, since her hands are full of ale tankards. She slips past him and sets one down in front of the mystical man, who has left his hut for tonight's festivities. As she tucks the rose behind her ear, the old man giggles.

"I hope no one's knocking on my door right now. It's movie night!" he says.

"It's not a movie, you old buffoon," grumbles the old hag, sitting beside him. A nearly-empty pouch rattles against her ample hip, containing a few gems.

"I'm just glad to be here," says the other old man on her far side. "If I hadn't run into you, dear," he tells her, "I'd have been lost for sure!" She pats his hand distractedly.

"CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?" a voice bellows over the din of the packed room. Turgon has climbed onto the bar, and is spreading his arms wide. "Masters, forest dwellers, and townsfolk, thank you for coming to tonight's special showing. I know we've all shared time with the LoRD Players, and I know that many of you have placed bets with the other, other old man at the Dark Cloak Tavern on the outcome of some of these more coveted or curious awards."

"Not too late to place those last minute bets!" the other, other old man says from near the back. He jingles a large money pouch.

Turgon laughs as several people rise and weave among the tables to place their bets. The dwarf grumbles under his breath that he wishes he'd brought his deck of cards.

Turgon waits until everyone has returned to their seats, until even Grizelda has stopped guzzling straight from the bung, and is paying attention. "All right, people, let's get this show started, and may the best player win!"

Thunderous applause and shouts and squeals of agreement shake the inn to its foundations. The bartender gives a nod to the mystical man, then hops down to sit next to Seth in the front row.

From somewhere in midair, a cone of light emanates directly onto the large white sheet, and the lanterns in the common room all dim. The crowd quiets in anticipation. Coverage of the Fourth Annual Nuklear Awards Ceremony is about to begin, starting with the Red Carpet scene.

______________________________________________________________________________



Hello, and welcome to the Fourth Annual Nuklear Awards! I’m Electra, and I’ll be your host this evening for the red carpet entrance and after party. Join me as I welcome the arrivals for this year’s awards!


Ah, here are our first two arrivals--monkeybot and -StarGazer-! -StarGazer-, Nuklear’s resident baker extraordinaire is doubling as our caterer for the after party. It appears as if the two are discussing Dollhouse. Clearly, I must interrupt.

["We gots us our own Dollhouse of sorts here, ain't we?" chortles the bartender, jiggling his keys.

"In that case, I want a new body," Grizelda whines.

Turgon slaps them both on the back of the head. "Shush. Electra is hott. I want to hear what she says next."]



So, SG, inquiring minds want to know--will medicinal carrots be on the menu? Or Alan Tudyk perhaps? Wishful thinking?


“No, but there will be a beercupsnake cupcake.”


Try saying THAT ten times fast. We have a special surprise this year, as we are joined through web cam by everyone’s favorite blunt Australian, louisfemme, as she--


“LIVES ON THE OTHER FUCKING SIDE OF THE WORLD.”


Er, yes. There are obvious advantages to being physically present, of course, but you get to be all Wizard of Oz...


“No, tilo gets to be all Wizard of Oz because that arse is actually there.”

[Cheers of "The bogan with the slogan!" and "The wonderful Wiz he woz...last night!" erupt spontaneously around the room.]


Well, that’s because he owns a Mac. That means he’s creative, thus able to master the art of bilocation.

[Violet and the princess simultaneously call, "Rawr!"]



“What?”


Apple humor, sorry. Speaking of Apple lovers, here’s injektilo* himself, the Roo with the tremendous burden of representing an entire country. Island. Continent. ...Place...thing...er...people.


“You mean awesome.”


That didn’t even make sense. Someone’s already gotten intimate with the Tanqueray...


“Beercupsnake later! But with good beer, not American piss.”


And with eloquence like that, how could anyone not love Australians? Ah, here’s Maverick, one of Nuklear’s newer members.


“I heard SG is catering the after party...”


You heard correctly.


“Hmm. I think I better go...find her--you know, offer my help.”

["Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!" says the other, other old man with a grin. He starts to carve on the table top, but the bartender yells at him.

"This isn't the Dark Cloak, you freakish perv!"]



Right. Of course. That’s very chivalrous of you. ...And off Mav goes in search of SG’s tasty treats. Heh, tasty treats. Oh, there’s Manex chatting with SingleGuy, another of Nuklear’s new members.


SingleGuy: SUP BITCHES? It goin down tomorrow and my ass up way too late. Bumpin dat Tego 'bout to light a spliff and pass the fuck out, shit.


Manex: I think I have a mancrush on you.


SingleGuy: Big ups, man.


Can I get a translation on Aisle Me, please?


Manex: PENIS!

[Seth Able shakes his head in dismay. "So blunt! No sense of romance whatsoever. I fear for his lay count..."]

Awesome. Oh, hey, there’s Eden...


Manex: The awards were cancelled.


Eden: What?

["What?" chorus the gathered characters.]


Manex: Yeah. Everyone got sick. You should just go home. Now.


Eden: I don’t think the awards are cancelled. I see--


Manex: THEY ARE. GO HOME.


Well, I’ll just leave those two alone. I see a great friendship on the horizon. I think I see Sir FineButtocks and Secret. Let’s go talk with them. Hey, Secret! Hey, Rumplefubkins! How’s it go--who are you looking for, Fubby?


Sir FB: Val and Ein. I know they’re here, and I’m going to find them. I’m going to finally see what they look like.

["Poor Fubble-bubble," Aladdin says. "We all know what they look like!" He mimics Einherjar's avatar pose, and the masters laugh.]


Oh. I, uh, I actually think they’ve already gone ahead to get things ready for the after party. It’s a masquerade ball, you know. I’m really excited for it.


Secret: Ha ha ha! They went to go put their faces on!


Sir FB: This isn’t fair!


Well, you know what they say--life’s a bitch and then you die. You could always go around ripping people’s masks off to find them, I suppose. ....I was kidding. Don’t really. Uhm. Can someone please keep a close eye on him? I’m sort of detained at the moment....


Secret: Don’t you worry, L, I’ll keep him on a tight leash!


Over in the corner it looks like Dazhbog and DK Orion are in a heated debate.


Dazhbog: With green realm realm gone, a dichotomy has been created between blue and red. I take issue with the depiction of blue realm as the hippie liberal realm for the uninformed and non-competitive players. It’s simply propaganda put forth by red realmers.

[Cheers erupt from half the masters, the chess lads, the royals, the dwarf and Olivia.]


DK Orion: I don’t think anyone’s going to be calling you the hippie liberal realm; that implies tolerance, and you clearly have a vendetta against “the blood-thirsty red realmers.”

[More cheers rise from the other masters, the holls, Miss Abdul, the fat man, and Nathan the healer.]


Oh, hey, look at that. Dazhbog is playing in blue, and DK Orion is playing in red. I believe that’s what some would call irony. Or funny. Then again, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. ...Unless the cigar is particularly liberal or conservative.


It appears that General Grievous is also locked in a heated debate, but with louisfemme over the web cam.


louisfemme: Oh, for fuck’s sake!!! You’re a Christian, not God!


Eliim is off on the side calling for civility while LadyLord chuckles.


Eliim: Can’t we all just get along? Please, let’s be rational.


LadyLord: It’s more fun if you grab some popcorn and a seat!

[Cheers rock the walls as everyone supports LadyLord's summation.]


Darius Songblade: I think I’ll take my seat in the rafters. It offers a better view.


There are--they’ve, uhm, been decorated... but, yeah, you do that.

["That big hunka-hunka wingéd love is welcome up in my rafters anytime," squeaks Teesha. Nolmar sniggers.]


Ram appears to have shown up already intoxicated.


Manex: WITH HIS VAGINA SHOWING. JESUS CHRIST, GET A MAN’S DRINK.


Sir FB seems to have been distracted from his search for Ein and Val’s faces by Neon. They appear to be deep in conversation, over something very insightful, no doubt.


Neon: And that's why I believe we Americans should get behind our local manufacturers and buy American.


Sir FB: Yes, I'm glad someone else has this country's well-being in mind.


Neon: Hang on, don't you own a Volvo?


Sir FB: Well, it is the wife's........


Inebriation abounds! Before the awards. Should be fun.


injektilo*: Two words: gin.


That’s one word.


injektilo*: But holds the importance of two.

["Aye!" calls the bartender, raising his glass.]


Speaking of word blunders, it’s everyone’s favorite misspeaker--tikel! Or, as I like to call him, Tea Kettle! He’s talking to Nuke. Let’s see what they’re up to.


So, Nuke, let me guess--something's broken?


Nuke: Of course. How’d you guess?


Oh, I was joking...


Tikel: Apparently the server got overloaded with all of my misspellings and Nuke has had to readjust the, umm, errr, I don't even know the Croatian word for what he's doing!


Nuke: I'm readjusting the flux capacitor. I've never seen misspellings have such a drastic impact before.


Tikel: Yes, strange circumcises indeed...


Yes, we all know about those strange circumcisions. Speaking of Nuklear member from lands far away, there’s Rosie. Hey, Ro, are ya Hungary for Turkey? Eh? Eh?

["I could eat," says the female holl, swiping a chicken leg off the virgin prince's plate. He pales.]


General Grievous appears to have broken the web cam and found Maiden of Malice who he is awkwardly and mercilessly flirting with. One can only hope he’s using some Bible study pick-up lines.


Our fearless leader, tmo, has called for everyone’s attention.


“I’m drunk! I love you all! Now get your asses inside. The awards are about to start.”


And so it begins... 


The results and the after party to be posted in the succeeding days.

Like to discuss this? Then come to the The 2009 Nuklear Awards Comments Thread.
Very Sleepy People

Quote of the Week:
louisfemme wrote:I love it. Even when Electra loses, she wins.
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Re:

Postby Electra on Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:52 pm

Again, a huge shout out to Valkyrie & injektilo*, without whom this wouldn't be possible.

Fourth Annual Nuklear Awards - Results!
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(The following explanation of the scoring & results taken from last year.)

How this works... I'll list a few of the runners up (only in cases where it was reasonably close and/or the runners up got a significant amount of votes... or if I just feel like it.). Afterwards, I'll list the winners in the category from 3rd to 1st, in the following manner:

3rd - Jimmy Carter with 19 points! (1/4/7)
2nd - Ronald Reagan with 24 points! (3/3/6)
1st - George Bush with 33 points!(5/2/9)

Points are the total points (4 for 1st place votes, 2 for 2nd place votes, and 1 for 3rd place votes). The numbers in parentheses are the breakdown of the votes received: (1st/2nd/3rd).

Ties were broken using the quality of votes rule: The person with more first place votes wins the tiebreaker. If still tied, the person then with the most amount of second place votes breaks the tie. If still tied, the tie stands.

And now... the trophies!

1st place winners receive the coveted Nuke Award!

2nd place winners receive either the Seth Award or the Violet Award! (Or in certain cases maybe the Seth Violet Award... or is that the Violet Seth Award?)

3rd place winners receive the Red Dragon Award!

And now... on to the results!

#30 Least Likely to Win an Anything
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And for those of you who are just joining us, your timing is impeccable! Let's get right to our awards. First up, it’s the Least Likely to Win Anything Award! It seems that it’s harder for our voters to pick someone they don’t think will win. 40 people got at least one vote, and 16 of them did win something, including this award. I guess the other 24 are the true winners here. Er. Losers.

In third place, with 9 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is General Grievous! (2/-/1)

In second place, with 10 points, winning the Seth Award, is Neon! (2/1/-)

And, in first place, with 12 points, winning the Nuke Award, is Single Guy! (3/-/-)

Incidentally, all three winners of our first award also received a trophy for at least one other award. Community, don't bother with lottery tickets. Our predicting accuracy is crap, and I predict you'll just waste your money.


#29 Most Missed MIA Poster
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Our next category is Most Missed MIA Poster. Nuklear LoRD is a fluid site, and people come and go here nearly as regularly as old people on prune juice, and sometimes as messily. But often we miss those who have left us, and we wish them well wherever they have gone, and hope they’ll bring back news of their happiness, and share it with us.

Among those we said we miss: SPoG, Dazhbog (who has recently returned--it's working!), Silver Girl, DariusSongblade, Kordex, Amadeus (ditto!), Shadowcaster (thritto!), Princess Tomato and tikel (quadritto!).

Our 3rd place winner claims the Red Dragon Award with 10 points: Ugly Duckling (1/3/-)

Here we have second place. With 11 points, winning the Seth Award, is Hidden Imp (2/1/1) (Who has also returned. Damn, this juju is potent!)

And in first place, with 16 points, winning the Nuke Award, is blah. (3/2/-)

We've managed to get four people who weren't trophy winners to return. Let's will everyone else to come back as well. After all, folks, Green Realm ain't gonna open itself.


#28 Coolest Avatar
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Our next category is for Coolest Avatar. Aside from the blockbuster movie that used the ever-cliché Papyrus font, that is.

In third place, with 7 points, winning the Red Dragon Award, is Ladylord. (1/1/1) Purple hair will never go out of fashion!

In second place, with 19 points, taking the Seth Award, is General Grievous. (4/1/1) Because nothing says "I rock" like culturally insensitive patches.

And taking the Nuke Award with 26 points and exactly three fewer second place votes than last year, for her amazing displays of animated felines once more, is Chilicat. (6/1/-) Yes, the moral of the award seems to be that if you want your avatar to be noticed, you must include a moving feline of maximum adorability. Take note, Community.


#27 Most Awesome Signature
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Next up is the award for Most Awesome Signature. No, we don't mean the one that buys you a new car, though that is also awesome.

It should be mentioned that there are seven Honorable Mentions for this category. The largest tie in the history of the Nuklear Awards is shared among the mystical one, Electra, (DK) Orion, SingleGuy, Sir FineButtocks, Secret and Maiden of Malice. Not only is the world just awesome, but nearly everyone's sig is, too.

In third place, winning the Red Dragon Award with 9 points, is Neon. (2/-/1)

In second place, with 16 points, earning the Seth Award, is LadyLord. (2/3/2) LadyLord is the only one of our winners to not have changed her sig before now, so we can hereby acknowledge the awesomeness of her tmo quote about double posting.

And in first place, winning the Nuke Award by a mere point, is General Grievous. (4/-/1)

Listen, Community. This egregious flaunting of the recognition part of the award ceremony is...is...do we need to implement a moratorium on sig changes during award season? Do we? No, no we don't. It's not a big deal. I'm not even sure it qualifies as a small deal. Let's see what's up next.


#26 Most Skilled Flamer
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Moving on, it’s now time for the Most Skilled Flamer Award. For those of us who have been here for several years now, this award may be considered a mere shadow of its former self, due to a lack of incandescence in the choice of nominees. This year there are indeed more embers than flamers.

(DK) Orion gets an Honorable Mention for this year, as he tied the third place winners in points, but not in point placement, earning 7 points. (-/2/3)

Sharing the Red Dragon Award among themselves at an exact tie for 7 points apiece, are injektilo*, General Grievous, and Ram. (1/1/1) Congratulations; you flamers are all on fiyah! Can we get a fire extinguisher over here please?

In second place, with 8 points--one hand firmly on the Tiller of Freedom, while his other clasps the Seth Award--is Sir FineButtocks. (2/-/-)

And winning the Nuke Award with 39 points--two more than last year's blowout win--is that perennial favorite, Manex. (9/1/1) I think the celestial arrangement of his received votes says it all.


#25 Lay King and Queen
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All that fighting makes me think of love and war. Let’s see who won Lay King and Queen this year. These will be presented to the placing male and female at the same time, for each trophy (or trophy set, in the case of Seth and Violet).

For our third place winners, we have Secret, with 13 points (3/-/1) and Tymorn with 12 points (1/4/-), each earning a Red Dragon Award for their horizontal efforts.

In second place, our hott pair is Chilicat for the Violet Award, earning 16 points (2/4/-), and Sir FineButtocks for the Seth Award, garnering a smokin' 16 points as well. (3/1/2)

First place for the best bedders in the realm goes to -StarGazer-, with 18 points (3/3/-), and injektilo* for his commanding 25 points (5/5/1) . If you send your lays to one of these winners, you might find yourself romping away your 45 minutes of playing time in an upstairs room. Practice safe lays, Community. Spam the S key and then go kill stuff.


#24 Most Effective Moderator
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The Most Effective Moderator Award is up next. We've split Moderators from Admins for this year's award ceremony, because their tasks are very different, and those who perform them deserve their own recognition.

In third place with 16 votes, Chilicat gets the Red Dragon Award. (-/5/6)

In second place, we have the busy Electra, who still managed to gather 33 points and the Violet Award. (4/7/3)

And cleaning up in moderate fashion, our own injektilo* gathers the Nuke Award with a respectable 47 points. (10/3/1)

Somehow, a few people still voted for Valkyrie, even though she does absolutely nothing, since no one posts in her dead little subforum. Yes, Community, some of you seem to think it's possible to score worse than "doing absolutely nothing" on the moderator scale.

#23 Most Effective Admin
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That leads us to the Most Effective Admin Award. Though both global moderators (with the green names) were eligible for Admin and Moderator awards, they both received an award for Moderator, but none for Admin.

For third place, Einherjar takes the Red Dragon Award for this category this year, with 29 points. (4/5/3)

Second place belongs to Sir FineButtocks, eaking out a Seth Award due to a single switched vote over Ein. (5/4/3)

And sweeping first place yet again (I call nepotism!), is the fair-minded injektilo*, strolling nonchalantly away to the punishment screen with 40 points and the Nuke Award. (8/3/2)


#22 Favorite Subforum
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Shifting topic, let's see the winners for the Favorite Subforum Award.

In third place, a big congratu-ma-freaking-lations goes to the Strategy subforum. Three years ago, it came in 5th. The last two years, it managed a 4th place finish. This year, all its dreams have come true, and it's made its way into the big time! Earning the Red Dragon Award with 14 points (3/-/2), and edging out Red Realm by a single point, Strategy couldn't be happier. Now move over, dude, there's two more awards to give out. Quit crying. No, you can't make a speech. Get off the stage.

Second place is the same as last year: Forum Games takes the Seth Award with 29 points (4/5/3).

That leaves us with no surprise as to our Nuke Award winner: it's Completely Off Topic, cleaning up with a not-surprising-in-the-least 45 points. (8/6/1) Half of you just came from there, didn't you, Community? Yes, I thought so.


#21 Best. Thread. Ever.
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Let us segue into the Best. Thread. Ever. Award, which demonstrates a bit of change in your preferences, Community. At least at the time of voting. Let's see what was on your mind.

The Last Word came in third place this year, with 11 points (2/1/1), claiming the Red Dragon Award.

In second place we have an interesting old-timer's first arrival in the top three spots: the Song Name Game thread, taking the Seth Award with 13 points. (3/-/1)

And in a show of positive interest, our new popular thread, NarcissUS: The Nuklear Interview scoops the Nuke Award with a fine showing of 20 points! (4/2/-)


#20 Splash Awards
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Now it's time for one of our Splash Awards. That's right: we throw it into the ballot and see how big a splash it makes. This one is the "Player most likely to use all emoticons in one sentence on the forums is.....", from our Player Most Likely Collection.

In third place, we have our beloved LadyLord, with 8 points. (1/2/-) The emoticon stickers all over your Red Dragon Award will come off without leaving any residue, don't worry.

Second place belongs to General Grievous, with 10 points and the Seth Award. (2/1/-)

That leaves Secret as our emoticon-flush winner of the Nuke Award, with 25 points! (4/4/1)

#19 Player Most Likely To Have The Last Word
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For our second Splash Award, we present the Player Most Likely To Have The Last Word, again from our Player Most Likely Collection.

The player who takes third place here, claiming the Red Dragon Award with 10 points (-/4/2) is LadyLord.

Coming in second place, with 18 points and the Seth Award, it's Logos. (2/5/-)

And in first place, with a massive 58 points, claiming the Nuke Award, it's Neon! ((12/2/) Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the last word is WIN.

Over the last two awards, it also appears that LadyLord is the Player Most Likely to Take Third Place in Player Most Likely Awards.


#18 Favorite Realm
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Well, we're not to the last word yet. We still have several more awards to hand out. Our next award is the Favorite Realm Award. With only four to choose from (at the time of voting), who will get left out in the cold? And more importantly, will anyone care?

Tmo cares. Tmo always cares. That's why we have this award every year, folks: because tmo is the Mother Teresa of Nuklear. Let's see how it broke down this year.

In third place, earning 31 points, and a Red Dragon Award, we have Blue Realm. ((4/5/5) Many of our newer regulars have taken the leap into Green or Red after building up their skills in this realm, and their votes likely went with them.

In second place, with a slightly higher point total at 34, taking the Seth/Violet Herm Award, is Green realm. (5/5/4) Green realm received 9 fewer first place votes this year, compared to its strong first place finish last year.

That leaves our clear winner this year, with 47 points and the Nuke Award, as Red Realm! (9/4/3) It looks like all nine of the serious players from last round voted! Well, not to fret, dedicated Red realmers, your realm is definitely sticking around. Currently.

#17 Greatest Site Contributor
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Our next award is a barometer of who is perceived to give the most to the site in general. It's the Greatest Site Contributor Award.

In third place this year, moving up from last year's Honorable Mention, with 12 points and the Red Dragon Award, it's Sir FineButtocks! (2/1/2)

Our second place winner edged out Sir FB by a single point to claim the same spot she had last year. With 13 points and the Violet Award, it's Valkyrie! (1/3/3)

And in first place once more, holding strong to his dedication to infect the entire computer-literate world with the bug that drives them to play LoRD every day, winning the Nuke Award with 38 points, it's injektilo*! (9/1/-)



#16 Neatest Newcomer
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Our next award, for Neatest Newcomer, is in honor of the new members who have survived the occasional poke from the pretentious elitist veterans of the game, and have made a home for themselves among us, contributing their perspectives and personality to our thriving community, and being assimilated as true Borg. I mean LoRDsters.

Despite Maverick's ineligibility by 50 days, a few people decided to vote for him anyway, which proves his value to the community knows no boundaries, rules or calendar dates. Let’s see which votes actually counted!

An Honorable Mention goes to G8Keeper, who tied the third place spot for points at 12, but lost out on the placement. (2/-/4)

Our third place winner hails from Turkey, and can be found lurking in chat during the middle of the Turkish night. Winning the Red Dragon Award with 12 points, it's Rosie! (2/1/2)

In second place, representin' for the brothas and their right to type posts full of slang, pulling in 17 points and the Seth Award, we have SingleGuy! (1/4/5)

And swooping into first place with a tooth-cracking 47 points and the Nuke Award, we have Maiden of Malice! (10/3/1)

We're so glad to have you in our community; every one of our newcomers brings something new and unique to the strange little world that is Nuklear Lord, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Except if there were a hundred of you. That would be nice.



#15 Favorite Nuklear Chatster
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Community, brace yourselves for our next award, for Favorite Nuklear Chatster. Once we name our winners, everyone will flee the area and go log in, in the hopes of catching a glimpse of one of these now-famous individuals.

In third place, with 12 points and the Red Dragon award, it's Sir FineButtocks! (-/4/4)

Taking second place, and not sheepish about it at all, with the Seth Award and 20 points, it's Neon! (4/1/2)

And edging out the sheep by a single point to claim the Nuke award with 21 points, it's the queen of gardens and cupcakes alike: the original LurkMonster, -StarGazer-! (4/2/1)



#14 Luckiest Player in Spite of Themselves
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For the Luckiest Player in Spite of Themselves Award, we've got quite a lineup for you tonight.

Our Honorable Mention goes out to ski, for tying the third place winners in points, at 4, but not in placement. (-/2/-)

In third place, we have for you a four-way tie. That doesn't happen here very often, so for all both of the stats nerds in the audience, this is for you. Sombra, Logos, Tymorn and Sir FineButtocks all received identical votes at 4 points apiece, so they each get their own Red Dragon Awards for this category. (1/-/-) Congratulations to you all, you third-luckiest bastards!

In second place, considered twice as lucky in spite of himself despite being out-numbered two to one, taking the Seth Award with 8 points, we have the very martial General Grievous! (2/-/-)

And taking this award with more luck votes than he needed, scooping the Nuke Award and strolling away with 25 points, it's Ram! (5/2/1) You're so lucky, Ram, to have won this award two years running. Maybe, just maybe, too lucky.


#13 Hottest Player Pic
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All right, Community, prepare those cold showers. It's time for the Hottest Player Pic Award.

When you have a text-based game, it's nice to see those you (S)laughter in something other than green pixels. We all know how unflattering those can be. Twenty-one players received at least one vote in this category, so apparently opinions vary widely! Let's take a look at whose pictures drew the most attention this year.

Sartech II (Leonidas) takes the Honorable Mention this year with 5 points (1/-/1)

With 6 points apiece, tying for third place and a pair of Red Dragons, we have drawdoow and blah. (1/1/-) Because uppercase letters can make you look fat.

In second place, earning the Violet Award at 7 points, is louisfemme! (1/1/1)

And our hottest player, according to pic? Take a deep breath, Community! Taking the Nuke Award with 8 points, it's General Grievous! (1/2/-)



#12 Most Arrogant Player
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Segueing from the awesome shell that houses Lordsters' minds, to that very mind within, we move now to the Most Arrogant Player Award. In the broad spectrum of players, from beginners to rusty to skilled, there are always those who believe they belong at the top.

In third place, with 7 points, picking up a Red Dragon Award, we have Sombra! (1/1/1) Even when he's not around, the echo of his arrogance remains.

Second place goes to the holder of 29 points and the Seth Award: (DK) Orion! (5/4/1)

And in first place, with 44 points and the Nuke Award, it's Ram! (9/4/-)

Surely he expected this award, right?



#11 Nicest Player
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Community, let us turn our diametric backs on that last award and oppose our fronts to the next one: the Nicest Player Award. No, that didn't make any sense, but let's see who would be nice enough not to say so!

Our Honorable Mention for this award goes to Valkyrie, with 8 points. (1/2/-)

In third place, with 9 points, taking the Red Dragon Award, it's Maverick1978! (2/-/1)

For our second place winner, with 15 points and a nice collection of cupcakes shaped like a Violet Award, we have -StarGazer-! (3/1/1) Shiny!

And in a three-way tie for first place, we have an enormous cookie-tin of niceness going around the community! With eighteen points apiece, Ladylord, Electra and injektilo* all claim their very own Nuke Awards for this category this year. (3/2/2)

Congratulations, LadyLord, you finally made it out of third place...only to be tied with an upstart Aussie who didn't even get an HM last year. Ah well, a Nice Person's work is never done.

#10 Choose Your Own Award
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Here, we take the time for another of our Splash Awards, the Choose Your Own Award. This one is unique, and would be so if used again. This is where you, Community, get to send in your best, worst, or silliest idea for an award. We provide a selection below.

From an unnamed Sysop - Most likely to be contrary to moderators/admins because they are moderators/admins
1st louisfemme
2nd Sir FB
3rd Manex

From an unnamed Australian - The Allens Lollies award - people I would like to give Allens lollies to.
1st Secret
2nd Sir FB
3rd Electra

From an unnamed ranga - Least likely to be SMITED by Grievous
1st Valkyrie
2nd injektilo*
3rd Secret

From an unnamed writer - Player Most Likely To Be Made Into an Anime Character
1st Einherjar
2nd DariusSongblade
3rd Ram

From an unnamed Admin - Most Slappable
1st Ram
2nd Neon
3rd General Grievous

We received three different nominations from an unnamed cupcake queen -
First place - Best Ranga = -StarGazer-!
Second place - Drama Queen = LF
Third place - Zombie survival expert = monkeybot

#9 Favorite Forest Monster
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Now, let us flee our horrific individuality and bomb off into the forests of LoRD, where we encounter our next award, for Favorite Forest Monster, lurking under the shadows of the trees like a hungry grue. Which monsters are you most excited to se?

In third place, with 17 points and a gingerly-awarded Red Dragon Award, it's Mutated Black Widow! (1/3/1) No, not that sort of ginger: MBW is not picky as to whom she bites to death. She's partial to a nice tin of gingersnaps, though.

In second place, carrying a much heftier 17 points and earning what we presume is a Seth Award, it's Kal Torak! (3/2/1) Next time some brave soul slays one of these, maybe you can check if we should have awarded its species the Violet Award instead.

And stomping all over everyone else in the entire forest, with 45 points and the Nuke Award, we have the thankfully plentiful Humongous Black Wyre! (10/2/1)

It looks like level 12 is the only place that LoRDsters enjoy their forest monsters, though it's probably more a state of mind than anything else. That state being insanity.


#8 Least Favorite Lord Bug
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Here we move from the world of the game itself, back out to the world of its players. It's time for the Least Favorite Lord Bug Award.

Face it: the game is old. It's buggy. And sometimes those bugs really screw up your day, or worse, your round! Which bugs have the most potential to ruin the fun?

An Honorable Mention goes out to the Horse Kill Bug with 10 points. Not to be confused with a straight up Horse Kill, the bug kicks in when the dragon does you enough damage to kill you, but right then your horse dies, too. The game handles the horse section before the player death section, and happily resets you to level 1, and only the Daily News gives away the bug. (2/1/-) In other news, monkeybot has begun hunting down and re-killing these undead players who rise from their temporary graves at the bidding of a large, red creature that is wreathed in smoke and flame. She may be our only hope.

In third place, with 16 points and the Red Dragon Award, we have the Lay Bug. ( 2/3/2) To hurried/distracted dragon killers who want that extra bump of experience from a lay on level one, it can really ruin their day. If you don't notice you got level 12 lay exp, you can lose an awesome post-DK day. Make sure you mock-attack Midnight Master before sending a lay to an online player, dragon killers!

In second place, with a single point more at 17, earning the Seth/Violet Herm Award, it's the Stuck Online Bug! Though less of an issue now than it once was, it's still frustrating to see a player online for hours with the experience you want, and knowing they're just a ghost in the machine. Forcing this bug is now a punishable offense.

First place has earned 41 points, due to its pervasiveness throughout the game and its knack for instantly ruining one's day. Earning the Nuke Award this year, it's the Message/Duel Bug! (8/4/1) Writing to a player is all well and good, but having them write back to you while you're initiating an offline duel sucks them in as your opponent! Never good! It's not always feasible to tell them to wait, especially if you don't know they're writing to you. Yes, indeed, just one more example of how the pen is mightier--and buggier--than the sword.


#7 Best Rivalry Award
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Though most message/duel bug encounters are resolved with relative ease between participants, other issues tend to get our backs up. We've not had the acidic encounters this year that we've enjoyed in years past, but our community is far from conflict-free. Let's take a look at some of the most memorable debates in communal memory, with our Best Rivalry Award!

In third place we have a rivalry between rivalries, otherwise known as a tie. With 8 points each, fighting over the Red Dragon Award, it's Dazhbog vs. (DK) Orion, and General Grievous vs. Everyone! (2/-/-)

Our second place rivalry earned the same points, 10, as our first place rivalry, but lost out on placement. Earning the Seth Award, it's Sir FineButtocks vs. Admins! ((2/-/2) Now that's what you call internal conflict.

And edging out second place by dint of a second place vote, earning the Nuke Award, it's General Grievous vs. injektilo*! (2/1/-)

So the General takes part in first and third place for this award! But fret not if this isn't enough mayhem for our crusader's usual daily routine. He also got nominated in five other rivalries as well. (DK) Orion, Dazhbog, and Sombra got 3 different rivalry mentions apiece. Even the mysterious group known as "Women" found themselves matched against a couple of different opponents.

So, rivalry is far from dead in the Nuklear community. It seems we're branching out to include larger issues than just PvP. A sign of maturity? Of humor? Or of desperation? Community, you be the judge--when you're not one of the rivals!


#6 Most Genderless Player
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Not quite as fluid as the segue from Most Skilled Flamer to Lay King and Queen, this segue carries us from rivalries to the Most Genderless Player Award.

Yes, we're bringing it back. The confusion as to why might rival the confusion we feel about certain players' gender.

Our Honorable Mention goes out to Eliim this year, for earning 10 points on the Genderless Scale. (2/1/-)

Earning one point more, in third place, we voted to give 11 points to the winner of the Red Dragon Award, monkeybot! (2/1/1) All that zombie-fighting armor can be confusing, it's true.

The inclusion of the second place winner makes us wonder if there are really confused people out there, or whether injektilo* simply has an obsessive fan club, who votes his name on every award, whether applicable or not! He takes the Seth Award with 15 points. (3/1/1)

And it looks like we have a new winner! Coming in first with 18 points and the Nuke Award, it's -StarGazer-! (4/1/-) All right, Community. Very funny. You know, if we just added a line to the profile that gave the option to publicly display one's gender, this award could go away again.


#5 Favorite Non-Yank Member
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And away we go on a whirlwind tour of the globe, in search of the winners for our Favorite Non-Yank Member Award. Many of our community members live in the US, but there are also many who don't. We decided to celebrate our diversity with an award to recognize those who bring different cultures to the Nuklear table.

Garnering an Honorable Mention with 7 points, it's the Trusted Shellback from Canada, Jaydub! (1/-/3)

We have a tie at third place, for 8 points apiece, between a denizen of Australia and one from Canada. Taking a Red Dragon award each, it's Eliim and louisfemme! (1/1/2) No bogans here, eh.

In second place, with 32 points, the Dragon Tickler from the Croatian Nation has earned the Seth Award: it's tikel! (6/3/2) Though he shared the Most Genderless category with Eliim three years ago, at least some of us have managed to figure out he's a male by now. (6/3/2)

In first place, bringing the thunder from down under and earning 34 points to narrowly claim the Nuke Award from the northern hemisphere, it's the Wizard of Aus, injektilo*! (4/8/2) Despite having fewer first place votes, tilo garnered enough second places choices to move him into the lead.


#4 E: A Jar of Almonds
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Our next category is self-explanatory: the E: A Jar of Almonds Award.

Receiving an Honorable Mention for 7 points, we have Secret. (-/3/1)

Also with 7 points, in third place, receiving the Red Dragon Award, we have General Grievous! (1/1/1)

Taking second place with 9 points, and the Violet Award, it's Valkyrie! (1/2/1)

And also with 9 points, receiving the Nuke Award, it's Manex! (2/-/1)

Enjoy your almonds, everyone. There's enough to share with everyone.


#3 Best Player Award
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And now, Community, we're down to our last three awards: the ones you've (possibly) been waiting for all evening. Let's begin with the Best Player Award.

This year, it was more a contest to see who came in second, thanks to the continued dominance of one of Nuklear's winningest players. Let's see how the votes shook out.

Valkyrie takes an Honorable Mention with 6 points. (1/-/2) If she played more rounds, she'd be more visible, but that 50% win ratio would take a steep dive...unless willing things really does work.

In third place, with 8 points and a Red Dragon Award, we have The Mystical One. ((1/2/-) Yes, folks, some people still recall when tmo had better things to do than take care of a family and a job, and he'd stroll in and win rounds left, right and center. In that order.

Second place was earned with 19 points this year, and the Seth Award belongs to Tymorn! (1/7/1) With a recent Blue Realm win to add to his growing list of top finishes, the player with the Elfquest character name has a metric buttload of potential, and players want to know where he's playing next so they can consider that as they make their realm choices.

That leaves our first place winner in command of the realms once again this year. With 57 points, and the Nuke Award, it's our own Einherjar! (14/1/-) With more total round wins (10) than even tmo (9) now, the man is a juggernaut of Nuklear proportions.


#2 Favorite Male Nuklear Member
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Having sorted out who to watch out for within the realms, let's move on to who to watch for in the community at large: our favorite male and female members. For the Favorite Male Nuklear Member Award, we look for the man who encompasses traits we collectively admire: intelligent, friendly, generous, with a good sense of humor and a thick streak of geeky awesomeness.

A pair of Honorable Mentions go out to tikel with 8 points (1/1/2) and Maverick 1978 with 10 points (2/-/2).

In third place with 14 points, we have the ever-changing sheep persona of Neon, taking the Red Dragon Award. (2/2/2)

In second place with 16 points, it's the system-bucking Sir FineButtocks, claiming the Seth Award! (3/1/2)

And in first place, our favorite all-around Nuklear guy received 27 points. Claiming (yet another) Nuke Award, it's injektilo*! (4/5/1) Injektilo* has been a great asset to this community, whether being a competitive player, a helpful tutor, a friendly advertiser, or a regular forum commenter. Now, go clone yourself, tilo! About two hundred ought to do it.


#1 Favorite Female Nuklear Member
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For our very last award this evening, we present to you the Favorite Female Nuklear Member Award. Who encapsulates all that a female LoRDster should be: helpful, knowledgeable, easy-going, with a healthy dose of geeky chic and the ability to laugh in life's face? Let's see how you voted:

Honorable mentions in this category go to LadyLord with 10 points (-/4/2) and -StarGazer- with 17 points. (3/1/3)

Our third place winner, taking the Red Dragon Award with 20 points, is Electra! (4/2/-)

In second place with 23 points, waltzing away with the Violet Award, we have Secret! (4/3/1)

And with 24 points, taking first place in this award for the second year in a row and claiming the Nuke Award, it's Valkyrie! (4/3/2)

You can see how close the votes came among our favorite ladies this year. It's great to have such a geeky community populated with not only *some* women, but women of this caliber who contribute so much to the community we have, and make it a better place.



That's all we have for you this evening, Community. In parting, we offer the usual platitudes of Nuklear LoRD: fight fair (unless you're playing in Red), spend wisely, and never run from a duel. We'll see you at three after midnight.


(...Stay tuned for the after party.)

Like to discuss this? Then come to the The 2009 Nuklear Awards Comments Thread.
Very Sleepy People

Quote of the Week:
louisfemme wrote:I love it. Even when Electra loses, she wins.
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Re: The Nuklear Awards Ceremonies

Postby Electra on Fri Mar 05, 2010 12:28 am

Fourth Annual Nuklear Awards After Party!
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Blah blah blah, I know--thank you, Tillyho! and Val. Especially Val. Without Val, this would have been nothing. We all owe her.



Welcome back! For those of you just joining us, the Fourth Annual Nuklear Awards ceremony just drew to a close. Now we’re heading to the after party which is already in full swing.

[The prince and princess are drunk, and singing a quartet with the holls. Barak, Atsuko and Gandalf are playing tag along the tabletops. The bartender surveys his packed house and grins. "We had them beat a couple hours ago!"]

It would seem that for many of the party’s attendees, the definition of “masquerade ball” seemed to take on that of “It’s like Halloween! With a mask!” Let’s see if I can’t identify some of the partygoers...

I believe the ballerina is Eden, since her tutu isn't blue. Eliim appears to be dressed as a woman, embracing genderless pride. Or at least gender-bending pride. General Grievous looks snappy in his uniform - yes, he's snapping at women in general now. ChiliCat is, awesomely enough, an adorable feline. RodeoJoe came dressed as....Newt Gingrich? Dr McNinja must be Manex, since we only have one ballerina tonight. Sir FineButtocks and Secret seem to have come as hippies--


“After a few drinks they took to calling themselves the ‘Flower Power Drum Set.’” Pa DUM pum!


Heh. Neon came as Shaun the Sheep. SingleGuy has shown up as a monk. -StarGazer- seems to be a lurking monster. Tikel is dressed as his misspelled namesake, Elmo. Val came as Jasmine Giacomo, and she's signing Jaydub's copy of her book in green ink. I believe Ein is the Phantom of the Opera--but where is he? I saw him just a moment ago. Apparently someone is taking his role a little too seriously.

["If he took that silly mask off, he could probably have taken us out on the same day," Turgon jokes to Gandalf. They high five each other as the other masters sing, "I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain't nobody gonna keep me down!" knowing they managed to postpone Einherjar's rise to 12 for nine whole days.]


Now that I’ve taken stock of some of the many costumes present this evening, let’s see what everyone’s doing!


Darius Songblade: “Hey, what are you supposed to be?”


monkeybot: “I’m a zombie.”


Darius Songblade: No, not you, him. *points at -StarGazer-*


-StarGazer-: “I. AM. NOT. A. MAN!”


monkeybot: “I suffer the SG Syndrome, too.”


Darius Songblade: “But you’re clearly a woman.”


-StarGazer-: “So am I! Huge tracts of land over on these here hills, people!”

[The tables of the Inn rock with thumps as the men present hoot and call. The old man from the mystical hut cackles, "There's gold in them thar hills! Who's up for some prospectin'?" The old hag slaps him upside the head and gulps some of her ale with a burpy cackle.]


No worries, SG, I got your back--er, ample front? Oh, it looks like injektilo* is introducing beercupsnake to everyone. Eden and Ram appear to be having a conversation that is comprehensible only to the intoxicated. Tymorn and Ein seem to be engaged in...playing tag? I think Val and RodeoJoe are playing Scrabble, and Dazh is looking over their shoulders and shaking his head. Louisfemme is here, with Beaker, who seems to be doing all the talking tonight. Apparently birds can have Australian accents too. Hmm. What else... oh, there’s Jaydub! Let’s see how he’s doing.


Hey, Jaydub! What’s that you’re drinking?


“Scotch.”


Of course, I should’ve known. How are you doing?


“I’m good. Hey, did you watch any Olympics? Our hockey teams totally owned the ice!”


Uhm. Not one bit, actually... but don't tell Val...


“‘Sup, pals?”


ChiliCat! My favorite Canadian!


Jaydub: “Your favorite Canadian?”


Eliim: “Hey!”


Shadowcaster: ">.<"


Oh, hey, is that the time? Gotta go!

["O Canada! Our home and native laaaaaaaand!" chorus the group, some of whom have risen unsteadily to their feet, swaying ale tankards half a beat slower than the song. Halfway through, most everyone has resorted to "Na na na na na naaaaa, na na nana, na na na na na naaaaa." They sit and cheer themselves and the Canadian players anyway. Violet offers a bonus lay to anyone who brings her a loonie, and Sandtiger grins widely and drags the mystical man over to her at the bar. She only glares at them both.]


Whew...Just in time, too. There’s General Grievous and injektilo*. It looks like the winners of biggest rivalries are at it again on guns! Maybe I should go make sure everyone’s playing fair.


injektilo*: It’d still take you a day to get back with the verdict on that one.


Hey, if that’s a crack on my admin abilities...well, ok then.


General Grievous: “I will SMITE you, tilo!”


My verdict? GG’s too sexy for his gun.

[Grizelda swoons.]

And Tillyho! only won so many awards because he was the one receiving the ballots and people felt pressured. I call tyranny. Also, Tillyho! is amusing when he’s annoyed. Keep going, Grievous! Who came dressed as Mozart?


Neon: “I think that’s Amadeus.”


[The princess stands on the table and sings, "And he drank and he cursed and he fooled around/ But when the women would shout/ Rock me Amadeus!"

The female holl joins her on the table top and they chorus: "Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus,/ Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus,/ Oh oh oh Amadeus!" The room cheers heartily, and the holl throws her arms around the princess and kisses her. They roll off the table and under another. The virgin prince looks on in hesitant interest.]



Amadeus? Since when is he back? I don’t believe you.


Neon: “That doesn’t make it any less true.”


Hmm. Anyway... hey, Manex, you’re being awfully quiet.


Manex: “I’m Dr McNinja.”


Ok. Dr McNinja, you’re being awfully quiet. What are you up to?


Dr McNinja: “I’m going to get rid of her once and for all.”


............Tutu jealousy? This is starting to read more like a Wile E Coyote and Roadrunner script. I think I’m going to tiptoe away and leave him to his machinations.


["Everyone listen up!" Turgon calls over the rowdy group. "It's time for a field trip! Get your asses up and out that door; we're gonna crash a party!" Whoops and screams of delight rise above the crowd as they stumble out the door. Nolmar and Teesha flit above their heads, sprinkling fairy dust into ale tankards and giggling as big drops of it float up for them to drink.

"This is the best party ever!" Teesha squeaks.]



Hey, there's tmo. How’s your lunch evangelizing going?


tmo: “I love lunch.”


Yeah, lunch is great.


tmo: “Better than great.”


You’re drunk, aren’t you?


tmo: “I feel very strongly about lunch. Everyone should eat it.”


[The door bursts open, and dozens of people stumble in, dancing and singing and calling. Many wave small signature-collecting books in their hands. Olivia rides on the dwarf's shoulders. The female holl and the princess skip in, holding hands. Turgon grabs the brackets that have limited his kind's interaction from that of the players, and breaks them] into _ little `- pieces_ -.

"We made it!" he hollers, looking around at the stunned players. "Now where is that stunning Electra? I must put on my most romantic self for her!"

Oh dear. Someone hide me.

tmo: "Hey, that guy looks like I always imagined Turgon would look. That's a really good costume! Who is that?"

That IS Turgon. Apparently he wants me.


Maverick: "Not that any of us blame him!"


Rhino: "Yes, what he said."


Ram: "Is that ale he's got? I should try some."


Well, I'll just hide here in this group of relative newcomers. Hi, rosie. You make a lovely Turkish film star. Malice, I see you brought your own background. How do you get it to hover a foot behind you at all times like that? G8Keeper, looking...keeperish...this evening. Lovely portcullis. You don't mind if I just stand here for a moment? Thanks.


The little fairies are swooping through the room like tiny missiles. They've punched holes in three costumes already. It appears Dr McNinja has found an odd, adoring fan in the Evil Wood Nymph. Apparently twisting wood is interesting to both of them.

Violet is fawning over several of the male players who have surrounded her like beetles around a pile of dung. At least they're not trying to roll her into a ball and push her down a hole...yet.

Most of these party-crashing game characters seem to be going from player to player, getting their autographs. Val is signing with her green pen. Dazhbog is writing one large paragraph on each sig-book's page--Sparhawk just said, "Tee ell, dee arr!" in dismay. Manex just signed the female holl's chest. I need...I need to wash my eyes...

Ah, thank God for Visine. Though I'd have used lye.

Oh dear. The three old men and the old hag have surrounded tmo. Something about not providing them with Social Security checks, and now they have to hunt in the woods for Large Green Rats and Purple Monchichis to subsist on. No wonder he's leaning away from their breath.

Eliim, Dazhbog and the chess ladies and lads seem to be discussing details of culture. Over near the bar, -StarGazer- is exchanging recipes with the bartender. Grizelda is mimicking monkeybot's zombie-killing moves and casting a dark look now and again at Olivia. Ein has reappeared, finally, but...oh dear. He's spotted Turgon and Gandalf, who are talking to Tillyho!, (DK) Orion and Benecia. Turgon's clearly looking for me... Ein has pulled a large red button out of his pocket...oh my! He's pushed it, and both Turgon's and Gandalf's rear ends have exploded into flames.


No, nothing to worry about. They've sat down in the beer fountain. Everything's fine. No, FB, don't drink...!


Too late.


Manex: Flaming ass-beer!? Get a straight man's drink!"


......Am I the only sober person here?


Sir Finebuttocks: “I’m real proud of you, Lecky.”


Ram: “I love you, Electra!!”


Dazhbog: *big grin*


Secret: “What is sober?”


Aaaand that's all the coverage we have time for. This is your host Electra, and thank you for joining us for the Fourth Annual Nuklear Awards Ceremonies. We hope to see you again next year!  


Like to discuss this? Then come to the The 2009 Nuklear Awards Comments Thread.
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louisfemme wrote:I love it. Even when Electra loses, she wins.
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